There's something about the format in this piece that just felt right, I know that's not saying much, but the few words per line really seemed to emphasize those emotions and give depth. It read smoothly and kind of had that ebb and flow feel, if that makes sense?
The opening images brought the reader straight into this piece. All too often I've heard the casual phrase that we were just "two ships passing in the night", but here, you believe you were not. Then the comparison to this person being the ice and you hitting it. Is it fate or something unable to be explained, this person's presence?
Certain parts stuck out to me like the very simple image of that starving pup, it reminds me of people being their raw form, stripped down to what they need to survive. Then you connect that to you searching for this person, hoping. The ending adds even more depth. It reminds me of living vs. surviving. Anyone can survive, but what does it take to find purpose and live a meaningful life? Similarly, we can exist and be present in someone's life, but how do we affect them? Do we truly cherish them? The heart you put in this piece is beautiful, especially with the significance of that "hunger". That yearning to understand and be loved the same way you give that love.
4 years ago
This is an amazing write, so so so much emotion is in here and it is so relatable and tragic and heartfelt.
I know how it is to feel like this, exactly like this in fact so for me this is a very powerful piece, thankyou for sharing.