It is interesting that in this poem you juxtapose feeling and numbness or not feeling. You jump from pain to lack of pain, to a place that is both beyond and below pain. For example:
What's another bruise
On someone who can't feel?
When I fall asleep,
The pain is not so real."
I think many find self-harm, in its variety and entirety, a temporary escape and numbeness from emotional pain through the means of physical pain. But it feels like you are saying the numb is just as bad, a fake way to get through another painful day. So numb and pain intermingle and defame each other in your endless days. I am glad you have found and are using words to bleed off some of the poison. I am sorry you hurt so much.