Oh my Chelsey......I have missed your poetry (as you know) you always have such an ability to write the most amazing pieces that seem completly effortless, I know to write they're not always but thats how they read and this is no exception...FrEaKiNg CrAzY gOoD!!!!!!!
I don't know why but it kinda reminds me of old Black and White movies, classic, intense and spilling over with emotion (that may not read it but it was a compliment)
I love the format of this piece, spit and post all the way, it really mirrors the actual content of the poem too and right off the bat I was completly hooked.
"I may come across as unbothered, oh but my insides squeeze like contractions, birthing painful tears of regret and loss and though it hurts, there is no drug for the pain."
Two words...Writing Freak!! where the F did that come from?!?!?! seriously I could write pages just on this stanza alone, the metaphor and imagery is AMAZING and again just seems effortless, there is a reason you are still my favourite writer Chels and this is one of a hundred examples.
Again with these two...
"You've seen more rescue than you have dismissal.
I've saved you more than I've shown you an exit.
And that's what fools do. And foolish I was.
To let your comfortability lead to stability in me,
designed by me,
provided by me,
encouraged by me."
It makes me wanna shfbsfvuosbhsgbbs!!!!!!
I freakin love the connotation of these lines, you control the reader so well and again your vocabulary is out of this world!!
I really like your use of repetition here, sometimes people overdo it and ruin the poem because the repetition becomes tiresome, but with your use of punctuation between repetition the reader absorbs what your sayin and the impact is massive!!
Damn it you kill me with your writing, the only thing i don't like is that it's sad and I don't like sad Chels ...but you do write sad so damn good
You can NEVER delete this poem, aside from the usual word choice, tempo, format blah blah comments, this in my opinion is a masterclass in writing, really i can't say enough about it.
Saved to favs, Nominated, printed out and eaten just so i can understand it a little more.
3 years ago
by Ben Pickard
First, welcome to the club, Chelsey.
As for the poem, some of the imagery in this is amazing. "My insides squeeze like contractions, birthing painful tears......" what a wonderful line. I particularly like "Prayer for a future that used to leak footage of our life together" Powerful piece
I'm so glad and relieved to see your writing made another appearance on here! Though my heart reaches out to you. There is nothing I can add or say, as much as I want to comment on each line. Your heart pours out in this, the trust, forgiveness, vulnerability. It's hard to let others in, at any time in our lives I suppose. The last few lines really hit the reader, how intimately you are talking to this person, how you warned, cautioned and this person should not keep overlooking.
It has been a long times since I have seen a piece from this writer, I blame myself for it, but I am glad I came across this one in the nomination section. She is the queen of emotional roller-coaster. This poem (as well as some other from here) are packed with emotions and realizations and confrontations and .... Oh, I am lost for words!
She is self-reflecting, that is what has drawn me to this poem. I think everyone should asses the people in their life every now and then. Never give any one a free pass to your heart, and never give them an open stay within it as well. If life has taught me anything, it is to draw lines even within our hearts, if we want to preserve any remaining sanity within us.
In this poem the writer reflected, then realized the problem, she blamed herself and even admitted that it was her fault (very brave of her, for a lot would blame others first),
"you were not exempt from the caution,
just because I'm in love with you, dear."
Then she ended the piece so powerfully... Great emotional piece. Loved it!