Comments : A Year in the Life of a Tree (Haibun)

  • 2 years ago

    by GB

    Mesmerizing to say the least, I wish I could write prose without excessive use of imagery, just to try this awesome form of poetry.

    Breath taking job prof, very glad you posted it ~

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    What a beautifully written piece and invitingly laid out, too. Excellent

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Hellon,

    A wonderfully previously penned Haibun. I do not recall reading this before, but that matters not as I have enjoyed it now. I enjoyed the alliteration through out and the way you weave words so they create not only imagery, but fragrance and bitter sweet emotion.

    I could try to dissect each word and sentence and still not fully capture the overall message. I guess the message gained will be different depending on personal opinions and how a reader feels that day? I felt after reading this that nature is mother to all, but not without fragility. She should be respected and supported by those that appreciate her for all she endows on this world.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    To be honest, Hellon, how this wasn't in the top 3 this week is completely beyond me. This was a stunning piece of poetry that fully deserved to win.

  • 2 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Hi Hellon, I wanted to write you a better comment but I'm slow at doing so...

    This was a poem filled with great imagery. I think your style is inclined towards show rather than tell because your poems usually show.

    On this sentence:

    The sun's caressing rays slowly melt the snow and, as tiny buds appear outstretched arms embrace them. as a mother would her child

    ^^ Is the period after "them" meant to be there?

    And also, are the periods at the end of the haiku important? I mean, I've been told that a haiku doesn't have periods. I was just wondering about that.

    • 2 years ago

      by Hellon

      Thank you all for your lovely comments. Luce, good catch on the period which should have been a comma. With regards to your question about a period at the end of a haiku well, I'm not really sure. I just try to avoid punctuation if I can when writing short forms. I think the haibun could be different I guess, I was trying to take the reader through each stage of this tree, which is in my garden, and I actually did observe it for a year. I was trying to portray camera shots with words I guess....

  • 3 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    Added to faves right away. Mind-blowing, breath-taking, absolutely beautiful in every sense of the word!