Comments : Falling Asleep Reading Poe

  • 2 years ago

    by Cindy

    What beautiful visions ur words have painted. I can get lost in the verses of this piece.

    Oh Sweet Beloved!
    if you stumble upon my grave
    do not weep
    for my soul is perfumed with peace.
    But shed a tear
    for all the verses I could not give

    This just rips at your heart.
    Excellent job!

    *big hugs

    • 2 years ago

      by Koan

      Im glad that you picked the essence of my poem sweet Friend! Thank you for reading...

  • 2 years ago

    by Cindy

    I had to come back and read this again...Your verses always take me somewhere else in my mind....I missed reading your beautiful words.

    *big hugs

  • 2 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Wonderful imagery, I can visualize Poe, tortured and drunk longing for his lost love. His death while a release for his soul, a loss for all the unpenned poetry he held in his heart.

    • 2 years ago

      by Koan

      It is such a heavenly feeling to read a review the reflects the understanding of the viewer!!!

      ~~~~~~~~soft hugs~~~~~~~~ Thank you for feeling me...

  • 2 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This is beyond beautiful ........... it's deep, elegant and just wow!

    • 2 years ago

      by Koan

      Thank you so much for stopping by at my poem
      and read it.... Your praise means much to me!!!

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Koan,

    I hope you are well.

    The standard of this piece is well, exceptional to my eyes and to the others that have commented.

    The afflicted Poe who never quite realised his dream is evident here in the language that paints a woeful, yet sweet canvas.

    If I may suggest this idea for this verse:

    Suddenly,
    without a pause
    I am passing through
    the dead days of absorbed illusions
    as they
    ^
    Remove these two words, and add a comma after illusions.

    in the tangled textures of free verses
    at the rim of my heart's cup
    that your lips have never touched..
    ^
    Try this for the last line: That you lips have never...
    touched.
    ^
    The word, 'touched' is so graphic and emotive that leaving it at the end and on its own adds emphasis.

    Your first verse has a lovely format, centered and balanced. You may want to play with the format of the rest to create a pleasing visual image.

    Koan, these are only ideas, you may have a reason for the wording and format and if so I apologse. Each of us have our own ideas about content and structure and my work is something I am always tweaking and perhaps when I should leave well alone.

    In summary: Beautiful imagery and language. You have captured the essence of Poe the person and his writing style in my eyes anyway. My suggestions are just that suggestions on a piece of already lovely work.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 2 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I voted on this poem weeks ago . I am just now getting around to commenting . I can't read it without his 13 year old cuz coming to mind, but this is very skillfully written in sort of a dark romance.

  • 2 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    I love Poe and this is amazing! What a splendid write. Added to faves right away.

  • 2 months ago

    by Mark

    Koan I'm lost for words as I adore Poe. Thankyou for this piece.