Comments : Shrieks of My Fading Past

  • 8 years ago

    by gumshuda

    This is a lovely write. It, I don't know, gets to me, like no other write you have written (okay, that's a lie, I do like many of your other poems too.) but this is also really good.
    Haha... already improving I see *wicked smile*

    • 8 years ago

      by John Doe

      Thank you, and yes I have been working on my skills (but that I would attribute to a friend!!).

  • 8 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Nominated honey!

  • 8 years ago

    by Jenn

    ^^ this is amazing.
    It defiantly deserves to be nominated.

  • 8 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    I found this to be something many can relate to from the opening lines. So often we hide our pain behind a smile that others never really notice what's really going on behind it. This if further enforced when she then asks "why, " as it's something very commonly asked when suffering through pain and grief and when life becomes too much for us.

    The closing lines are somewhat haunting, when mentioning she is now fading. It's as if she's finally had enough and no longer wishes to fight back; she's giving up hope. The only minor issue I had was that the flow in the last line seemed a little bit off compared to the rest.

    Lovely work.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    That is the most beautiful and sincere piece I have ever read.

    It captured my heart from start to finish.

    • 8 years ago

      by John Doe

      Thank you so much!!