Comments : Every Afternoon at Four

  • 1 year ago

    by GB

    Oh, God!
    You brought tears to my eyes, it's smashing, heartfelt, elegant and pretty overwhelming...Very glad to see you writing and posting again my dear. That "good morning heartache" made me almost speechless!

    ~hugging

  • 1 year ago

    by Cindy

    Anna
    What a heartbreaking piece you have penned. How many people are there who's memories keep them alive. Disability, age, or just loneliness..So much empty time.
    This brought tears to my eyes.
    Excellent job
    Take care
    Love Cindy

  • 1 year ago

    by Dixiedaisy

    Anna, You have always had a remarkable way of telling stories in your poetry. This is no exception. I can picture the scenario in a vintage film sort of way as you tell it. Crackling and electric little lines going through an aged screen (yes how the movies seemed to play then) I know you didn't mean for this effect but that is how it strikes me. There is a deeper message in this, that no matter how many friends we have or how popular we are, even in our own mind, we all die alone, regardless of the presence of people. This poem makes me as a reader feel so sad for those who are alone daily with nothing to live (or die) for other than regrets and memories. Loved this poem. Awesome write.

  • 1 year ago

    by BlueJay

    The story here is stunning and you even got me to cry a bit as well. I love the way you included a song and kept repeating the importance of photographs and the music, that was amazing, because those items already hold such symbolism and here you only added a deeper meaning to them.

    Beautifully penned.

  • 1 year ago

    by Cindy

    Congratulations on the win Anna.
    Take care love Cindy

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Anna,

    this is so good. The picture painted of a mature lady who at one time was adored by all. She sacrificed much, too much for her fame. Years on she drowns her sorrows, her regrets with alcohol and the tired wealth around her in her opulent, but very much empty and lonely home.

    The scene plays out perfectly to a scratched record; and I imagine singing the words, 'good morning heartache'

    Well done on this fantastic poem and on a much deserved win.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 1 year ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    My judging comment:
    I don't know whether this poem is inspired by Sunset Boulevard but the noir tone is wonderful. I can exactly imagine the old star, Gloria-Swanson-style, living in her dreams, always expecting another stage call that would never come. The sadness of her predicament is made worse by the realization that she did not have to settle for that ending. Holding onto the glamour of youth so tightly prevented her from embracing and celebrating her maturity. Excellent entry. Curious about the title and recurring theme, though. Is there a significance to 4:00?

  • 1 year ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    We all want to grow old, but no one wants to be the kind of person you portrayed here, living in past memories!

    Well done,

    Ingrid

  • 1 year ago

    by Rania Moallem

    I like the simple yet vague title, got me interested.

    Afternoons always reflect that type of theme where things go emotional and deep; for some reason.

    A stunning way of narrating a story in such a poetic and descriptive way. It's an ultimate role, the one you helped your words play to serve your comprehension.

    It's very touching and very and its much easier than one could think to relate to this piece by personal experience.

    Found this to be worth of highlight!

    Well done for writing.

  • 1 year ago

    by Rania Moallem

    I like the simple yet vague title, got me interested.

    Afternoons always reflect that type of theme where things go emotional and deep; for some reason.

    A stunning way of narrating a story in such a poetic and descriptive way. It's an ultimate role, the one you helped your words play to serve your comprehension.

    It's very touching and very and its much easier than one could think to relate to this piece by personal experience.

    Found this to be worth of highlight!

    Well done for writing.

  • 1 year ago

    by J Nair

    Anna your poem 'Every Afternoon at Four' is an excellent piece of work.
    I think every one could relate to it, a juncture in life which is yet to come for all or for some it has come and gone.

    The reminissence of bygone days, lost opportunities, fading youth are all so beautifully captured in this poem.

    If it was projected as a movie it definitley would come under the genre 'Drama'. The time clocked is perfect too....

    Congratulations on a well deserved win.
    Thank you,
    Jay

  • 1 year ago

    by J Nair

    Anna your poem 'Every Afternoon at Four' is an excellent piece of work.
    I think every one could relate to it, a juncture in life which is yet to come for all or for some it has come and gone.

    The reminissence of bygone days, lost opportunities, fading youth are all so beautifully captured in this poem.

    If it was projected as a movie it definitley would come under the genre 'Drama'. The time clocked is perfect too....

    Congratulations on a well deserved win.
    Thank you,
    Jay