Comments : Unchanging Plight

  • 2 years ago

    by J Nair

    Dear Meena, Intense read!!

    I can relate this writing to the lives of many who have been crushed under the dogmatic beliefs that rule the roost all over the world.

    Where either in the name of religion or race there has been many who has faced persecution and for the prejudiced eyes its easy to condemn and prosecute them. It has just become a way of life. And the happenings around the world is a proof that there is no escape from this kind of prison- there is no escape from the cluthches of these wired attitude.
    It only ends when that life ceases and is beneath the dirt.
    A true state of affairs.

    Thank You.

    Jay.

    [Does this poem come under any specific form ? the pattern kind of indicates- :) ]

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Meena,

    A powerful write and one full of sad truths that if we were free of, we would all be so much happier!
    I love the line about a gasping voice fluttering to escape the "wrongly wired attitude" - the idea of being completely smothered by what we are taught - wanting to break free from it - but finding it too difficult. These things become ingrained in us, don't they?
    All the very best, Meena
    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Congratulations on this deserved win, Meena.
    All the very best,
    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by DarkLight

    Very deserving win.

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Meena,

    Firstly, I am sorry that I have only read this now. I am ashamed!

    I will comment now to try and make amends...

    Persecuted,
    ^
    A loaded word here gives this poem an explosive start. It screams of unfair play, the bully making his victim suffer.

    Prosecuted and
    Imprisoned within a
    ^
    These next two line bring context: The Judge has sentenced and undoubtedly unjustly, a prison sentence, or at least reduced freedom liberties.

    caged view, a gasping
    voice flutters to escape the
    clutches of a wrongly wired attitude!
    ^
    These three lines reveal more still: The 'caged view' feeling like an animal, a creature that can only be tamed if kept behind bars. I imagine years of this would weaken the strongest of souls. But, still the voice that stems from righteousness is never really silent. 'gasping voice flutters' despite the gags. The voice of real justice escapes these tortured chains. This voice continues to speak out, voicing the 'attitude' that others may not accept, but is the truth of many who remain in the shadows for fear of the same imprisonment.

    No amount of tears can move a
    stoned belief that has been sown from birth;
    Life itself becomes a painful punishment till the screaming
    heart is buried under dirt!
    ^
    The gauntlet is laid down here. A concrete will and determination spoken without fear and straight into the eyes of the oppressor. When a person knows their truth, they will fight to be heard if need be. Doing nothing would be living a lie and that in itself is punishment too.

    Meena, this poem is powerful. I like the structure, like an etheree, but uniquely yours. The rhyme gives it a heart beat throughout the piece, which I think is poignant.

    Well done and I can clearly see why this was a winner.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 1 year ago

    by Ray Blue

    Breathtaking work Meena! Congrats!

    Cheers,
    Ray

  • 1 year ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Is this a form? Or did you just make it look like it is one?

    It is very eye-catching, but also works so well with your word choice.

    The message is very heartfelt and eyeopening, unfortunately true to life as we all know.

    Love your talent for creating such structured and meaningful sentences .. too much talent!! :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging comment

    Oh Meena's format with emotion comes to life once again this week! This lady has such a gift of pure emotion in her writing.

    Her first three words, set the tone of this piece and I love how she formatted this poem, it just reads beautifully.

    This poem is so deep and powerful that the reader is left speechless. Its a message of humanity gone wrong in my opinion... the plight of the world and how judgment can lead to darkness. A short poem that holds such a powerful meaning and message. Deserves to be highlighted!

  • 1 year ago

    by William Mae

    Superb! Salvation lies deep within the heart strangly of the victim. For only there is self worth realized and forgiveness granted. Though it be a stone it still in the heart can be crushed. Thought provoking poetry Meena.