Comments : Your Day (Chaos Of Stars)

  • 1 year ago

    by Maher

    As you said for me sir, I will say for you, how the hell has nobody commented on this? It's not the type of poetry I'm used to, but it's raw emotion in pixels. The way you describe her makes me think of white light with brown eyes.

    I've been through a long distance relationship and recently fell out of one. I know exactly how you feel and maybe then some. I flew from Australia to Ohio twice over 3 years and thought I was gonna be a step dad. This summed it all up - minus the child.

    I wish you the best sir. Keep writing, because gold isn't only found in the earth.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    This is beautiful and as Maher said how's it's been missed I'll never know.
    The title caught m.y eye and the poem it's self didn't leave me at all disappointed..
    Although this lady isn't with you daily she is yours truly and obviously means a lot. Love can do funny things to us like that. I myself have been through a long distant relationship and it can hurt like hell when you aren't with them in the aspect of not talking to them or whatever. I love the descriptive and imagery you use, perfect. Nominated also.

    Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This really is an exquisite piece of detailed writing from you that left me feeling for you immensely.
    Those last two lines are perfect.

    Take care and all the best,
    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Rsan

    Excellent writing with very detailed imagery you created and the other parts are just as excellent'

    Excellent writing

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    WOW dude!
    Well written.. i love this piece :)

    Blow out your candles, make a wish, and make it true,
    'cause baby you deserve everything this world has to offer you.

    ^^ these two lines are so powerful and show just how much you love this girl.. :)

    well done!

  • 1 year ago

    by Saerelune

    "This poem is a nice combination of magic and reality. The first two stanzas feel very surreal, they have some sort of classical vibe with all the stars and the moon creating ethereal imagery. I thought the transition to more realistic imagery was done very cleverly. The first line o the third stanza states: "Memories storm my mind", storm being the keyword of a more exaggerated verb that fits the classical vibe I was talking about before. But this "storm" fits perfectly well with the "flashes" and the "camera", subtly growing into something more personal: the seaplane, the lighthouse, the picnic. Truly divine, but also very intimate if you know what I mean. I loved the transition to the "chestnut chocolate eyes" too, it's all very romantic yet genuine at the same. Each stanza seems to add another spark to the poem, but not to the extent that things get over the top. Well done."