Comments : Haiku/Senryu, April '16

  • 2 years ago

    by Britt

    YAY! I love!

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This is excellent.

  • 2 years ago

    by GB

    How smart of you to leave determining the poetry type for the reader!
    Smashing use of alliteration, you made your little gem so melodic... Breath-taking job, congratulations :)

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Congratulations - it's always nice to see these short forms winning the weekly contests.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 2 years ago

    by Brenda

    Lovely Haiku! Congratulations on your win!

  • 2 years ago

    by Louis A Ranero

    Nice

  • 2 years ago

    by Lyn Aribaca

    Brainy one

    congratulations ...

  • 2 years ago

    by Darren

    Judges comments

    Nightingales nuance
    morning melodies for those
    who cannot listen.

    Nuance is one of those words I have read a million times and convinced myself that I know what it means. For once I actually looked it up and this is its definition;

    a subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression, or sound.

    Reading this definition and reading it after Nightingales has just created a whole scene in my mind, using 2 words. Which is what a Haiku/Senryu is all about.
    However.....
    Night-in-ga-les nu-ance is 6 syllables.
    Unless you pronounce Gales as 1 syllable.
    Now when I am unsure I use wordcalc syllable counter who agree with me that it is 4.
    Because of this, I drop from 7 to 4 points.
    I also researched the Haiku form (again) which is 5/7/5 but more importantly 17 syllables.

    Now onto why I chose this as one of my top 3.
    The final line.
    The turn is the meat of any Haiku, this turn is a mind explosion.
    Very clever writing.
    I also like the choice the author gives us, A nature poem (haiku) or a sad indictment of life? (senryu)
    Or write it twice?! 4 points