Comments : Lovers Embrace

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Naomi,

    A lovely tight, rhymed poem about one of your favourite topics. The mention of honeycomb infuses an image of a bee following a flowers scent to its sweet nectar. In nature some flowers get what they want by taking it. I feel you're more of a venus fly trap than a rose.

    Well done on another romantic write.

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 1 year ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you!
      Again, for reading and commenting!
      However, I'm not quit a venus fly trap! Haha I tend to be more a thorn! Also not my favourite topic :) just experimenting with new ideas! :)

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    ...okay, but apart from that I was spot on!! Lol

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I think I know what third base is and - as a youngster - I was always fairly happy with the idea of dashing for second. However, if third was achieved, all well and good...

    SL

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    N, nicely done! Good rhyming, a story line that flows nicely. It's fun to think about those days when you end up dashing up the stairs or the couch, or many other places.....

    • 1 year ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Agree! Just days when ya know what ya want and go for it..

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Naomi, this is a really good piece. I like the short, racy lines because they set the scene for hearts racing and how things would,be heading to third base lol. Takes me back ;)

    All the best, Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Nicolette

    Nice and simple, enjoyed it, well done. :)