This poem is far too personal to comment much on - certainly from a technical point - so all I will say is how well written it is and how emotional I found it. You have my sincerest sympathy.
"If this is how you cry now, while I'm alive,
what will you do after I die...
Please, don't cry when I go"
I know this means nothing coming from me, but those few lines should be heeded. If I ever died, the last thing in the world I would want is those I cared about drowning in sorrow. Try and live and celebrate all that was good in his life.
Your poem is a lasting memorial to this great man as he held your heart in his hand. I deeply feel your grief and sorrow, you may think; how does he know? I know because of the losses in my own family, a baby we had named Todd and the miscarriage at five months that took him away. The passing of my Mom and Dad, my younger brother found dead and alone in the woods, his Bible by his side. So yes I truly understand and share your pain and tears as well. I found relief in the verses in the Bible that said; Blessed are those who morn, for they shall be comforted! As also written, we do not morn as those who have no hope. I pray that you will be comforted also and that all the wonderful memories and time will heal your Soul. Your friend, Ken
Oh, this is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss.
You've conveyed these precious last moments in a way that at times I felt I was Hussain and others the tears blinding your eyes.
This is going into my favourites. ..