This is beautifully sad. But a great poem. My interpretation may differ from what you were trying to say, but this is what I see when I read it.
1) There was silence in a darkened, still
the calmer I became the more anxiety screamed.
*The opening lines are very powerful. It tells me that even though you are trying to remain calm, the pain is just to much and your mind is full of painful thoughts.*
2) If one tear drop from a sorrowful sky
could shatter the heart of a frozen moon-
then Mother shall weep forever.
*I love the words you chose here. (Sorrowful sky, I assume is you and frozen moon I assume is the lover)
Excellent choice of words. (If a single tear can break your heart then I will cry forever)*
3) I haven't seen the sun in ages
and it seems the rivers rage on,
like a turbulent altercation
between two lover's in denial.
*Once again excellent choice of words. I assume the sun means happiness and rivers mean life or love. (I haven't been happy in a long time, but even though life goes on I still love you, even if we can't accept each other.)*
4) Stubborn winds call from the west
as oceanic vibrations center my mind
with calming, seashell noises;
* I love the imagery here. I can almost hear the calming sounds of the ocean that soothes the pain.*
5) But it's no secret that I'm lost
in the middle of this storm-
and the moon has left me for
* This is such a strong emotional piece. Your lost within the storms of emotional pain because your lover left you for someone else. Once again I love the wording.*
This is such a saddening yet beautiful poem. You were able to make me feel the pain and anxiety that you endured. Well done.
I wish you all the best.
1 year ago
Andrea, I haven't seen you write I don't think since Christmas which is ashame as I love your work but here we have the second of two delicately written pieces with so much emotion that it made me need an handkerchief (well, tissue but I wanted to be posh haha) your words are just, wow. They make the piece even more amazing.
1/ Love the opening because I can totally relate. My ex was a nightmare and I knew if it was quiet there was more trouble for me which made me more anxious, I'm not saying this is like this but people say no news is good news (don't ask why I said this) when sometimes it isn't, right? Sorry I am rambling but it just made me think of this. Also, is there a word missing after darkened as I read that as two sentences and it seems there is.. No quarks' if not it's just me misreading though I thought I'd ask all the same.
2/ The imagery here is so beautiful (as always with your pieces) though sad. I imagine the sky as cloudy and as sad as ever just having one teardrop to cry and using it wisely so to speak.
3/ I miss the sun too... The happiness of being in love and being loved and I feel here you are trying to say that though you have been masked in darkness, you have found an honest kind of love and no matter what your differences are, you find common ground or more commonly continue to fight because there are no common grounds and you don't want to be alone.
4/ Wow, wow, wow the imagery here again is fantastic. I picture a person stood in the middle of nowhere surrounding by winds (and I think these are within her mind) so stubborn that no matter what anyone tells they they'll only do it or believe it if they want to and then these calming noises come to soothe then and I think these are meaning a person they think highly of, I'm not sure.
5/ I like this ending because you are sort of admitting that the feelings you have aren't a secret and that people have come and gone out of your life (probably because of the pain you have been caused and them not being able to handle it) and you are left there licking your wounds better and trying to mend yourself.
That's what I got out of this anyway.
Take care, Em
It is not easy to remain calm when there is so much agony going on inside. All we want to do is just scream out loud and we should. Crying suppose to be healthy but what when there are no more tears left. I can so relate to have not seen the sun in ages but that emotional darkness can be very overwhelming. When it gets to that point I take a walk through the forest and watching the trees just standing so peacefully or a walk at the beach. Excellent therapy. While reading this poem I also sense loneliness which is different from being alone. But at times we can be with somebody and we are still lonely. I could go on but I leave as that. Take care
Andrea, such a beautifully sad write. You have the most amazing way of putting nature and your story together so deliciously. Love in turbulence, the calmer it is the worse your anxiety. It is crazy isn't it? The calm before the storm? Silence between two lovers can be good or the worse thing possible. You have clearly shown the worse thing possible scenario. Well done-
This is such a precious gem of poetry Andrea, your work is always so breathtaking and visually appealing. I am a great lover of grandmother moon and this poem speaks to something primal in me that searches for her face each night and mourns when she isn't in my sight. Incredibly beautiful