I cannot waste this opportunity,
I will say that I love you truly.
Second, minutes, and hour counts,
You're placed in a plain gold mount.
Bring all the happiness,
I'm now defenseless,
Ready to take
Without a sorrow,
With you life is pleasant.
I guess?But yes I am blessed,
With cleverness, you ought possessed,
This heart, engraved with your signature,
My mind, that knows that you are the future.
This is STUNNING! Form-wise and content-wise! Yay, this is not easy to do! Great job!
2 years ago
by Ben Pickard
This was really great. Michael set a really challenging...challenge! and you more than rose to the occasion with this. It's wonderfully executed.
I read this before but I'm sorry I failed to comment sooner.
One of the wonderful things about this form is the way they look. I like poems that are presented well and this double Etheree, working from 10 syllables down to one and then back to ten is remarkable; it looks rather like an egg timer.
The fact this form looks like a timer is apt. Your poem talks about time, seconds, minutes and hours. Reassuring a lover that this time is their chance to repair a heartbreak. I like the mention of a gold broach, and the fact it contains a lovers photo, a memory of lasting love also connects this with the theme time. The way you end the poem, connecting time and love together by mentioning a heart being engraved shows that this time is forever.
Gel, well done - I am sorry this one passed me by.