I have to be honest, the first stanza threw me a little as I was expecting it to rhyme, but it didn't but the other two stanzas did. Anyway, aside from that, this is a dark and imaginative piece with a terribly sad ending.
Actually, it does rhyme. It's an assonant rhyme instead of a perfect rhyme. Indeed, it ended dark, though it was not my intention; I have been in pursuit of a happy poem for some time now but they always take a turn toward the dark side.
Thanks for commenting Ben,
9 months ago
by Ben Pickard
lol, okay Stephen, fair enough. I should have been clearer - last word rhyme. What I meant is the format of the rhyming is different but that doesn't matter a bit; poetry is free and different styles are there to be experimented with.