The First Kiss

by Hidden Eyes   Jan 12, 2018

He kisses me in the back row after watching "I, Tonya".
I see his face coming towards me and my mind goes blank.
Our mouths are on each other, not needing, not retreating.

His tongue comes out of nowhere.
I didn't even know another person could feel so warm.
His hand is on my thigh, inching upward.
My eyes are closed because keeping them open is too distracting.

I wonder if his eyes are open and what he is feeling and if I am doing this right and if I wore the right bra and if he thinks I'm fat and if there will be a tomorrow.
I'm questioning myself, trying to decide if I really like him or if I just like this intimacy and the thoughts are rolling rolling rolling, completely unable to stop.
An then his hand is on my boob and I realize that I'm nothing to him; just another person for him to deflower.

He cancels the next days date.
No longer texts the day after the canceled date
Maybe if I had put out, he might still be interested.
I can't believe I waited almost two decades to feel this shitty.


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Hi Hidden Eyes :-) I liked this piece because it's so relatable to most women dare I say.
    The truth is, if you'd 'put out' he might have kept the next date, but only to move to the next physical stage and get his needs met. So if you think you feel bad now, imagine how you'd have felt being used in that way!
    You've had a lucky escape. The kind of guy that deserves you wouldn't dream of behaving like that. :-) x