Comments : One-sided love

  • 6 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I genuinely hope this is nominated. Fantastic writing that moved me immensely.

    All the best Sg,

    Ben

  • 6 months ago

    by Brenda

    This is so lovely! Every stanza is so beautifully visual. Another swoon worthy write. Well done-

  • 6 months ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Shane! Love this! There's so many good bits I could quote the lot! There are very few lucky people that wouldn't be able to relate to this. Brilliant! :-) x
    =^.^=

  • 6 months ago

    by Nema

    Wow. Man, just wow.
    I don't know how you managed to take something that I thought was too cliche to write about and turn it into this mesmerizing, beautiful, beautiful poem!
    Look at the lines and how they flow in each stanza, even in the syllable count, and the way they give a visual image to the reader.
    This is lovely. I absolutely love it and do hope it gets the weekly win!

    Thank you for writing this. I truly enjoyed it. Amazing writing.
    Write on!

  • 6 months ago

    by Maple Tree

    This took me back to a sad time in my life,
    Oh to be honest I feel my life has always been a bit sad,
    But I feel in these moments it molds us into who we are as a person and as writer's....this is such a powerful piece.. well done

  • 6 months ago

    by Hellon

    This is a stunning piece of poetry...each and every stanza paints a picture that is really quite dire to me, the reader. Favourite (although it was extremely difficult to pick).

    I am tired of walking
    on those letters I wrote for you;
    drinking illness of questions in empty nights;
    recycling my thoughts to prevent them from shriveling
    and looking for me in the lyrics of the songs
    in your head right now.

    Simply breathtaking!

  • 6 months ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Be still my heart

  • 6 months ago

    by Beautiful Tragedy

    Woah I’m literally speechless right now.

  • 5 months ago

    by naaz

    I don't know, but in one of your poem a member from pnq had given comment that one read of your poem wasn't enough. She is 100 percent correct. I mean look at the beauty of this one. You have no idea how many times I have read this poem and shared it on my Facebook page too.

    Theme of the poem looks like love. Tone or feelings or atmosphere or emotions they are kinda mixed but you put emphasis on desire towards your one true love. Language is full of metaphors, but not that tough to decipher or one couldn't easily understand.

    As it starts, it shows that you are not alone you meet new people everyday, you receive roses too which implies that there is love around you but you are not comfortable because that love is not one you are lookin for. You always feel alone and even the most beautiful things in life now can't make you feel satisfied. You are burning in an image you made in your heart, a possibility that though there are contradictions for now but one day you gonna meet your desired love for sure.

    Second stanza says that you are tired of telling her how much you love her and now your mind wants you to forget about her. You, don't want such thing to happen, you don't want to lose the moisture of her thoughts. Your love for her is still a mystery, it is making you ill. Your nights are empty and even in those empty nights you search yourself in the songs or thoughts running in the mind of the person you love.

    Again, third stanza is a bit different from the rest of the poem. Maybe, in this one your mind overcame your heart because from this stanza it looks like that you have committed some sin by loving her. Now you want to get rid of it, but the sin is incurable so you are doing all those things which you don't want to do anymore. Through out the stanza you called love, a devil. It is wrapping you in his arms of darkness and nightmares.

    Fourth one says that you have done everything you could have to tell her how much you loved her. You have imprinted your love on letters, poems, quotes and other ways to tell her how much you loved her all your life. If she ever finds any one of those and opens it, she gonna hear the voice of your heart asking her the same thing, 'do you love me?'

    After reading your poems, sometimes, it makes me believe that true love really exists.

    SG, Could you please share her name in one of your poem in the future?
    It's just a request.

    Keep on penning!

    • 5 months ago

      by Ya----Na

      Hi naz, once again so many thanks to u fr going too deep in my poems and leaving such remarkable comments. I've no words how you do it each time. And abt that gal? Okay
      I'll try!
      I'll give some hint in my upcoming poems.