There is a piece of me that I try to hide from the entire world.
Just a passing glance and you would see nothing but an ordinary girl.
But, deep inside there is a cloud that looms.
In my mind, I keep myself locked in a couple different rooms.
The first is called "Helpless", It is where "Depression" resides.
When you are finally able to get my attention, I just tell you that I am fine.
But, if you look closely, nothing is as it seems.
How do you not notice the Chaos happening within me?
This black cloud gives me comfort, but pulls me deeper into despair.
Even though you try to reach me, You will not be able to find me there.
You see it comforts me like a pillow, leaving my world in crumbs.
But, I can not tell what it is doing when it has me enveloped in my own slum.
The second room beckons to me in the middle of the night.
It is where "PTSD" hides and it is the room that fills me with the most fright.
Because in the chaos and the self hatred I have for myself.
There is a piece of me I can not seem to reach that "PTSD" has hidden on a high shelf.
I am trying to get better, I swear to you I am.
But, In the self loathing and misery I find myself not giving a single Damn.
Because here I am safe, with only myself to hate.
What if I leave my misery, and it is other people's hatred that I can not take?
Deep inside there is screaming, in the basement of my mind.
If you look deep into my soul, this is where you will find me crying.
I thought this would be easier, Oh how I wish I could explain..
But, will you ever understand if I tried showing you only an ounce of my pain?
