Resting my head upon a pillow
My throat starts to tingle
Its getting hard to swallow.
I sit up.. thinking its not right.
I try to spit it up like someone is coming up.
It blocks my air way and I start to panic.
No air! No air! I stand in panic.
I reached down my throat expecting something to be there.
There is nothing, nothing that I cant grasp.
I run to adam.
Run to help
I clench my throat unable to talk.
Unable to breath. Unable to grasp.
I bash him awake. He half hazardly gets up.
No care, no panic. Here's me in full panic.
I run to the bathroom mirror and all I see. Is my uvula swallow and blocking the way.
The way a breathed. I tried coughing it up.
Im running around in panic. With no air in sight. Adam is standing there doing nothing to help. A simple call to 000 could of fkn helpted.
I start signing to him 000.
He takes his time and finally calls them. Not making the emergency urgent. I start banging on the walls in such a panic. Adam just casually talks to the operator.
I wish he said "SHE CANT BREATH! SEND SOMEONE URGENT" instead " he says my gf waked up gagging. "
I cant talk, I still cant breath. I nearly pass out. And panic is all I see. I try lifting my head and coughing with a tiny breath I caught. It saved me for a minute and i start to claw at the walls. Like I'm drowning and trying to swim to the surface for air.
But he stands there stunned like a deer caught in the road.
I texted through my phone to him to get our neibour to help look after freya.
And all he cares is about being late for work. .
And being up at a late hour.
Not the fact that I still can die.
Not the fact that I cant breath.
When the ambulance came there were no sirens to be seen. They didnt mark it as urgent cause he marked it as causal. When the ambulance saw me they knew I wasn't joking.
They rushed me in and pumped me full of adernaline. My air way opened up and I could finally breath. They stabbed me with steriods and epidpen to boot.
This was way serious and he couldn't believe it too.
They were gonna take me to hospital. . He didnt wanna come again. Leaving me to fend for my own.
He gave me a bag full of spare clothes.
My neibour came just to look after freya for 5 mins while the ambulance arrived.
I was so thankful to her and it made me cry.
I stayed in hospital for 18 hrs. Kept in for observation and made number 1 priority.
For I nearly died that day. . It made me realise.
He didnt even stress , he didnt even care.
That was the day my heart gained despise.
You love someone , you care n try to help.
I was an inconvenience to him when I cried for help.
The worst part was freya was sent to school. She vomited everywhere on her way to school.
She was so sick , and so tired. The school called me when I was in hospital. I called adam to go pick her up. He lost his shit and said she better not being making this up.
He didnt want to. He was already on his way to work. I screamed at him with a horse voice. This is your daughter ! For fk sake , fk your work.
Im in hospital what would u like me to do?
Have my throat closed up again and be nothing to you?
He huffed and he puffed, swore a bit and continued to whinge and complain. Oh woe is me I have lost work again!
Lets just forget i nearly lost my life. His daughter needs him as she was scared for my life. Covered in vomit and not feeling well. She really needed him but he acted like he was going through hell.
It made me open my eyes to value life a little more. I devoted myself to try to start larping again, finding friends whom cared and doing more self love. No holding back now. Im not a burden anymore.
For if I did lose my life that day. No one would hardly care and that very day. Only my daughter and I don't wanna leave her behind. Where we are marked and inconvenience to everyone we loved.
