Comments : Secret Passage

  • 13 years ago

    by FTS Miles

    Excellently presented. Haven't gotten there yet, though I foresee it may be coming sooner than I may like. Thus far being able to stave off that philosophical view from within, though. ;)

  • 13 years ago

    by Kevin

    I am only 25.

    And no, i don't rhyme for the sake of it.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sherry Lynn

    The beginning left me very confused and bewilderd, but you done a nice job bringing the poem together for the reader with your ending.

    Though I was not intrigued at first and felt some what uninterested, I am glad that I read it through all the way.

    Good job... Excellent closing

    --Sher

  • 13 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    unique format

  • 13 years ago

    by Lisa

    Kevin I thought this was a really wonderful piece, totally great ending, sometimes you read poems on the site and they are great the whole way through until you come to the end and its not the ending you thought it would be....but this was just perfect....keep writing.

  • 13 years ago

    by Poetically Speaking

    Wow, I really thought this was a great peice, you made me miss my old birthdays, lol.

  • 12 years ago

    by BrokenMisery

    I enjoyed this poem. You are very creative with your words and the metaphoric content linking one side of the story with the other. One thing that I think would help is adding punctuation because it helps the flow and meaning of what you are trying to convey. Representing the realisation of the journey and such, I didn't particularly like, it feels as if (in my opinion) that it lacks something. You're rhyming scheme was good that you did not always use it or force it; however it did strike me as odd when it for no reason, started rhyming.

  • 12 years ago

    by Kyra

    Hey i really liked this it had meaning.
    ~Kyra~

  • 11 years ago

    by Boy

    That was the truth about life. . it was realy nice work.
    you are a talented writer.
    i am giving you 5/5