A little confusing and hard to fallow, I read it a few time, I think if you add a little flow it will be a very good poem.

super original piece. fascinating perspective here...the first time i read it i found it a sort of odd place to end...but i read it again, and it makes more sense.

"id recognize what already is, and begin to descend."

I'm trying to figure out this line, and to be correct I t think it'd have to say: "I'd recognizeD what already WAS, and begAn to descend." But who knows, it is 6:02 AM and I've been up all night. Or "I recognize what already is, and begin to descend." I'm trying to remember verb tenses and such, and i'm just gonna shut up now. Lovely work.

xxx

Thanks so much for that one. It is way more hidden then what i wanted it originally, but i could never figure out exactly what to do to fix that. I guess the story is, and maybe this will clear up the ending, i was literally sitting in a coffee shop at about 530; sunrise. I was sitting in the "theatre" seats out on a side street, just spying all these things as they walked by. I was there talking to someone who i had found myself in a very bad relationship, which started from a very simple kiss. I was telling her everything i needed to say, and it was going horribly. Someone you really cared about, you know? Just never in that way, etc, etc,etc,. The last line is about literally falling, in love, into depression, whichever, just the idea, that all these things i was witnessing were swallowing me, and i was taking it all in, and just being completely swamped.

Wow....

When I finished reading that one....
I had to take a second to come back into reality. That was beautiful!

~*~Christina Lynn~*~

"The bicyclist with the gender confused frame"...what a great line (it made me smile)!

Brilliance shines throughout your poems. I would comment on every poem, but I don't want to be one to over-do the already done (Like I haven't tried to flatter you enough already, right?).