My Father, My Dark Angel, Haunt my Dreams Again

Dark angels swarm above me
As I so tenderly sleep
I toss and turn in misery
As the benefits they reap

Why can't you leave me alone?
Stop haunting my mind, my dreams
I tense and moan
I can't get rid of you, it seems

It happens every three years, provide
The number of years you cared
Whether I lived or whether I died
The number of years you were actually there

When I sat by that wall
And cried as you beat my mother
I would watch her down and fall
You're a monster unlike any other

I cry out in remembrance
It's not a dream I'd ever choose
To recall every danger since
You left every scar and bruise

I'm three again
In this dream, so bittersweet
I felt the irony, the sin
As your wife you beat

Me holding my brother close
Then you ordering him out
You wanted me to see it alone, so gross
What the blood and pain was all about

I'll never forget that memory
The time you forced me to watch by myself
As you abused for infinity
And I sat under that shelf

And bawled my little eyes out
'Till you yelled at me to shut up quick
I didn't know what the punishment was about
But I did know you were sick

Nanny tried to come and save me, your daughter
But you pushed her, hard
As my mom's skin you slaughtered
Nanny fell as my mind fell apart

I put my hands over my ears
And hummed to drown out your rage
I rocked back and forth in fear
That I'd never reach another age

Then you put down your hands
And grabbed your precious bottle of liquor
Kicked the spot where Mom landed
Could you have been sicker

Mom lay there a minute
Gasping for breath and air
I wish I had never seen it
And then she noticed I was there

She smiled as it gave her pain
And motioned for me to come
I ran into her bruised arms again
And this time, you had won

My momma held me closely
And told me it would be ok
But that image still haunts me
Even to this day

I hope this is what you wished for
You, who I called dad
The night you scarred me more
Than any other ever has

I cry out in my nightmare
And I awake in a cold sweat
The dark angels... so unfair
What more pain could they get?

Now I'll wait three more years
Until the time begins
When I will cry true salty tears
As you haunt my dreams again.

*Sigh... I hate every third year... but hey, at least this one is over, right?*