My lies,my life, my suicide

by taz   Jul 2, 2005


For those who have read my poems
Will have noticed their very deep
I write them about my life
When I find it hard to sleep

I have a great family
And awesome friends
But still my only wish
Is for my life to end

If you looked really close into my eyes
You would see my tears
And maybe even the pain
I have felt for so many years

I had a great childhood
Always having fun
I never expected that 1 day
From my life I would run

It happened one night
God, I wish it was a dream
How could I be a mum?
When I am only 15

I never told my parents
They would have made me leave home
I was always asking myself that 1 question
How could I get by on my own?

You always said you loved me
And would stay by my side
Then you go and rape me
And say sorry I was only their for the ride

I am only 15
With so much on my mind
Have got so many problems
That answers I can’t even find

Suicide crosses my mind
So many times a day
Look at what I have been threw
I’m surprised that sometimes I even want to stay

When I was young
My dream was to be a dancer
But now I’m 15
And am battling with cancer

I know that if I stay
more pain is what ill face
my life is full of mistakes
that I can’t even erase

I have been hiding so much
For a really long time
But now everything is getting out of hand
And I can no longer say I’m fine

Please you got to understand
Why I have told so many lies
I knew if I told it would destroy you
So I have decided to wait and give you a surprise

But now my smiles
Are getting so hard to fake
You would have never guessed
That I would be the one with the mistakes

I always acted like everything was fine
So please never blame yourself
This is what I have chosen to do
I can no longer keep all this to myself

So I guess this is goodbye
Since I can no longer take no more
I will take some pills and slash my wrist
And please read the note beside me on the floor

THE NOTE SAID…..

Mum and dad
I am so sorry for everything
I love you both more than I can say
And please don’t be mad at me
I had to take my life today
I’m really sorry about the stuff I never told you
Or anything I have been threw
I really saw no point
In telling you the stuff I do
Mum I know you wanted the best for me
And I know I let you down
Not knowing that your daughter was pregnant at 15
To your face it will bring a frown
But you got to understand
I’m so sorry for everything I did
I honestly must admit, mum
I’m a pretty messed up kid
And dad you always made me happy
I remember when we use to read
I would always pick a book
And afterwards a cuddle I would need
I’m sorry I didn’t do well at school
My results were pretty poor
But I really tried my best, dad
I’m going to miss going with you to the store
But I couldn’t leave you today
Without saying goodbye
Remember I will always be there for you
Whenever you need me just look above at the sky

Elliot
You were the best brother a girl could have
You were always there for me
We always got along
And on your face a smile I would always see
I will miss you so much
But please carry on
Make sure you fill all your dreams
And make sure mum and dad stay strong

Kiara
You were my best friend
You knew all my secrets
And I know it must have been hard for you
But please don’t have any regrets
I told you not to tell anyone
And you did that for me
I know I made that promise
But I honestly just couldn’t be
So stay strong
This is for the best
Now you won’t have me to worry about me
As I’m putting myself to rest

And to everyone else
I honestly love you all
Don’t hang your heads low
Stand up tall

Well I must be going
Do me a favor please don’t cry
Smile at my funeral
In the end every has to die

this is all true plz rate n comment plz

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by BraidhairCutie

    Very Emotional Poem. Hope You get thru everything.

  • 9 years ago

    by Jessica

    Hey
    Suicide isn't the answer to anything..i have been there soo many times it ain't even funny,i have had friends who has done the exact same thing.mii bestest friend overdosed but she was taken to the hospital, and she threw up all night.i had a friend that just recently,cut too deep and she said that she was soo scared that she didn't even wanna die anymore..believe me..when yew cut too deep and ur bleeding all over yew are gonna wish that yew never did it..i stopped plenty of times when i was trying to do suicide..it doesn't feel good.cuz when yew start to loose breath yew get scared and wish yew could undo everythin.take mii words.suicide isn't the answer for anything..check out mii poem.i think it's called why can't anyone understand me..i have done soo many stupid things to end mii life just b/c i couldn't take anymore of the S**T that i was going through.but i just didn't put everything in the poem.

  • 10 years ago

    by Taz

    Holy that was realii deep and emotional
    i loved it
    5/5
    ~TaZ~

  • 10 years ago

    by I love you always and today

    Are you still alive i hope so i love it

  • 10 years ago

    by NearlyCrazy6

    Omg, that was so sad! it was a good poem tho...just sad :((