I loved it . it's dark .......but really good

5/5

AWESOME!! I loved the poem. The way you wrote it was unique. wonderful style.

honestly, the only constructive critism I can give you is for the 6th stanza. It just didn't seem to flow together, or with the rest of the poem.

But I love the way you put in those little reminders, like this one :

"As all of us are these days
(figureatiivly speaking)"

It gives off a feeling that your trying to connect with the reader and stay in the poem at the same time. And you did a perfect job of doing that.

Take Care,
Renee

Wow i really enjoyed that poem and there were so many truths said in it. It was amazing, you must have had a lot of inspiration to write that. All i would say is, there are a few spelling mistakes that could be corrected. But it is a really great poem :D

diffrent way to write it...nice poem, it has a weird flow though. I like the casualy lingo.

very nice; i like this one a lot!

goodpoem 5/5 keep up the good work and plz read some of my poems and comment/vote it would mean a lot

Hey this is a great poem i love it i dont know why one wouldnt like it unless they aint in to there kind of poems i love it gurl dont let these hatas bring u down. ok

i liked this poem a lot. u did a great job at writing it. please read some of my poems and vote/comment it would mean a lot to me. u did an aweome job! i hope to read some more of ur poems.
love me always,
india

Wow this is an awesome poem!! I really enjoyed reading it, you are very talented! If you want could you please R/C some of mine too:) (the one called Conscience might appeal to you):D

Luv,
Ana*

You're right. Society sucks. It's sad that like.. girls are getting pregnant at 13, and people are smoking up... Music sucks now. Everything... I hope more people read this...

Kenshini, thanx for the comment. Most of the people who read this are too blind to see what I mean. Half the time, they get mad at me. Send me angry letters. It think they're mad because they don't want to see the truth. Our society really is crashing, and we are not as great as we once were. And, many people disagree, but then, 99% of them are the ones I spoke of in my poem. The ones who's lives revolve around material things.

Anyhow, I suppose I'll get off my soap box and write.

Thanks for the comment. XD
Kimmi~*