Comments : Sweet Sixteen

  • 12 years ago

    by Rolo

    Good expression, structure, and flow. Well written. 5/5.

    Happy Birthday to you, and may you soon find the happiness you deserve.

    ~rolo

  • 12 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Very nice poem, great flow, now you can start adding more descriptions and bigger words

  • 12 years ago

    by cowgirlstar26

    Good write, there;s one line tho that chops it up i'm not sure which tho. but if u take another line and just rhyme it with the other line it'll be even better

    keep it up!

    Natalie

  • 12 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Aww that is so sad. I can remember turning 16. I didn't do much special because as my birthday is in the summer most of my friends were on holiday, but I did have my close family...
    Your poem was so touching and it really made me want to cry. I hope it isn't a true story because everyone should have someone on their birthday. Anyway good poem, keep it up.

  • 12 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    Saddening.. ive had a few birthdays kinda like this,.. its not a good feeling.. although, ur age still says 15,.. so either thats wrong or u just wrote this out of imagination.. either way i enjoyed it.. the flow was pretty good.. up until the last line it didnt break or faulter at all.. i dont know how to improve this, or if it needs the improvement.. maybe change the syllables around and see if it fits better, or just leave it as is, for it is complete.. anyway good job and keep writing.. peace out

  • 12 years ago

    by GoodMorning

    I'm sorry to hear that....=( that would really suck....hope you're ok, if you need to talk, PM me....anyways, i think this is pretty good...keep em' coming =) *GIANT bear hug*

    -brittnay

  • 12 years ago

    by Carmen

    Aw, thats so sad. the title should be something like "A Not So Sweet Sixteen" that fits the poem better. 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Ashley Van Eperen

    The title is supposed to be a contradiction to reality. but thanks for the suggestion.

  • 12 years ago

    by meimei

    Yo y u so sad?dun wry ur not alone i dun knoe u but im here for u....happy birthday=)

  • 12 years ago

    by XxTeArSxX17

    Well i didnt know you then so that dont count for me. happy sweet sixteen hun. i am sorry it was not a special as it should be. i know how that feels my dad didnt even call me and this year he forgot how old i was. just keep your head up there are peopl out there that will and i am sure do care about you. 5.5

  • 12 years ago

    by Afraid of the Dark

    Thats so sad . . . well written and it flow beautifully

  • Aahh, so sad !!
    Really late happy birthday !!
    I liked this poem though, you've expressed your emotions really well.

    xxx cici xxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Nuscy

    Nice...........but sorry you didn't enjoy your day

  • 12 years ago

    by --*arlene*--

    Nice poem....dont feel bad , like you said ur 18th and 21st are going to be better :P...n*e ways i like it so much...keep it up 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by creasy

    Nice poem! im sorry that you didnt get the birthday you deserve. no one should be treated like that. but there are other birthdays to come, and you'll find someone to love you for you, and always be with you! keep your head up. happy belated birthday! take care.

  • 11 years ago

    by Romy Rose

    I care!!!!!
    *huge hugs* PC.

  • 10 years ago

    by ForeverYoung

    Awww.... wow this is really sad, im so sorry!
    HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY BABE!!!
    hugs and kisses1
    Steph