Amazing poem! It just reminds me of someone who is so helplessly in love no matter what the other does to them. You did an amazing job on this. The flow and rhythm was perfect and it held up very well throughout the poem. You had some great word usage also. Amazing job on this! I loved it! 5/5
Flow was amazing, Bridgette is right.
You pulled that off; beautifully, darling.
We should write together again!
We haven't wrote together in ages!
I didn't think we were too bad.
This poem was amazing, that's the only words to describe it, that I can think of right now.
I loved it.
This is excellent..i loved the calmness of it even witht htis particular topic..the person in the poem was so serene about it that it made it scarier...soo well done, and close tot he end is where the flow really starts to kick in so you';re enjoying it, and it ends...i think reading this poem once wouldnt do the trick...but read it twice and it charms you!!:):)....5/5
Great poem. Just utterly incredible. It had me sucked in from the first line all the way to the last. So much so that i didn't even look for spelling errors, and i'm not about to :). It was just beautiful and i seriously wouldn't change a thing. I love your metaphors, every word flowed perfectly... The poem was just outstanding. Had you recently submitted this poem, I would have nominated it. Just... beautiful. If we can ever add favorites, this goes on mine.
Gee, i sound like i'm kissing your butt.
Well, i'm only being honest. This is like one of the top 50 on the site.
Great job dear,
Oh, well, to go on the negative side:
"Manslaughter I doubt you'd pull off,
You want a bloodbath on the floor,"
should look like this:
"Manslaughter I doubt you would pull off,
You'd want a bloodbath on the floor,"
Of course, maybe the way i read the poem is differently to the way you wrote it in your head, therefore making the latter make sense.
I just happened to be looking at some poems randomly and I stummbled upon this one. I'm so glad I did, and I ave to say, it's amazing.
There's just so much emotion and depth in this piece. Many love poems have emotion but this one's different..the way it's written, your choice of words, the comparisons, the idea..just everything.. fabulous! I am truly impressed. I especially LOVE this stanza:
"Place the shotgun on my temple,
My life rests in your shaken hand,
Relax don't worry sweetie,
I'll jump at each demand,
This power you behold now,
Is one drenched in sorrow,
With one soft simple push,
You could demolish my tomorrow."