Wow this poem really blew me away.. I must say that this has to be one of your best in my opinion. I loved all of it. It flowed very well, and held so many emotions. My favorite stanza was:
Too many secrets locked in an enchanted box,
Of which I should never myself hold the key.
For never should I pick the lock you have made.
I can not force you to reveal what you refuse.
â€”Weaken those lies you have been told.
Great job on this! 5/5***
This was really good. And I hate that, Cause I never know what to say in my comments. Theres nothing I can critize, I loved it all. It was beautiful. Just keep on writing. You really do have talent! I loved it!! 5/5
Wow Kali, that is SO BEAUTIFUL. I think you'e inspired me to write about a patriotic theme....I'll write soon...this poem rreally captured the agony of a sodier, of how he wants peace, but must kill to live....sad....keep it up...Dhaval
A genuinely profound piece of work. I wonder where such inspiration comes from sometimes! You really step inside and amplify the voice of your poems. I liked what you did with the last lines of each stanza it was almost like an aside...yet the monosyllabic, starkness at times maintained that air of being in the military. Exceptional...
That is beautiful. I need to start writing like that more than I do now. I admire your words, as I myself am in the army. I just wish more people would understand, but you can't unless you were in our boots. Excellent my dear. I am going to save this.
Too many things I can not understand,
Yet the world you reside within makes sense.
What you consider to be a band of brothers,
Makes me break down when you have gone.
Wow i am speechless for once...great job. every time i read one of your poems i fall deeper in love with your style of writing....so much talent entwined with passion always makes for a n awesome read! 5/5 no doubt!
OMG that was so deep, it had such great meaning and depth to it i cant even believe it - when i made that post that you responded to i never thought i would be led to find such meaningful poetry. You have amazing talent, it is truely unbelievable.
Wow, this poem was so unique! I've never read anything like it! Gah! All your poems are so good! Your flow was good, and I loved the words you chose! This is one of those poems that take your breath away!
WOW...I'm glad you asked me to read this because this poem was feeling with so much talent and emotion..it kinda left me speechless, I reread it a couple of times just because it was soooo good, I love this poem and now since I've read this one I will read alot more of your writing...great job 5/5