How you smell like
I think it's cologne and then
a little bit like cigarettes and
a little bit just like you and how
when you leave
my shirt smells like that too so I
take it off and sleep with it
pressed up by my face.
how there are
so many questions I'd like to
ask you but I can
never phrase them just right or
find the perfect time so maybe
now's the opportunity but then I just
CAN'T
and I don't know why I just don't.
how I can see
the striation of your irises
even when I sleep but I
can't quite conjure up your smile
because it's one of those things
that escapes even the most
colorful of imaginations
until you see it,
oh let me see it!
how I've got to learn to
live with these ever present pinpricks of
insecurity because the only cure
is your body.
how right now just to
write these words
hurts, it
hurts even though it shouldn't
but I can't let myself think that
and I can't let myself even know
that pain exists.
