Comments : Faded

  • 12 years ago

    by Jessica Sharon LaPointe

    Hey Girl,
    I love this poem, But it's so sad. I write poems like this too. But you know.. theres more to life then cutting your wrists & stuff like that!. I tell everyone that but I dont fallow it. lol. But anyway if you have msn add me if you ever want to talk. alright bye

    From a friend..
    someone who cares.

  • 12 years ago

    by Pure Silence

    I love you Juls xxx

    I will comment properly after my exams *hugs tight*

  • 12 years ago

    by kkly

    Hey whatZ UP lady...
    Hope ur doing find babe..Cuz I
    Well lets talk sometime,,its has been
    a looooong time since we have talk..
    Later juls xoxoxo


  • 12 years ago

    by Natalie

    Deserted by chose
    [With that line, I wasn't sure if it was meant to say "chose" ..or maybe "choice"?]

    Anyway, I thought it was a great poem. I really liked how you set it out and repeated certain parts. I like the meaning behind it too. Scars remain. Very true. Keep it up! 5/5

    `Taleee. xx.

  • 12 years ago

    by Arcane Blondie

    This is really sad---I also had the same question as .x.Natalie.x. I kindof thought that the ''chose''was supposed to be ''choice'' Everythime I reached that stanza I read choice because thats what sounds right. Beside that it flows very smoothly. You have a lot of talent! 5/5 stay strong--

  • 12 years ago

    by Samantha Hollywood

    Juls -
    Great job! The first stanza rhymes kind of confused me, as you rhymed "away" with "away" but also threw "way" in there, so the other line was kind of excluded. A bit confusing.
    But otherwise, great job. The flow was great, 5/5

    Samantha Hollywood

  • 12 years ago

    by Darien

    That was an alright poem. My only suggestion is you should use punctuation. "Commas, periods, colons etc." It messed up the flow at times.

    "Some make fun others back away"
    [You would need to add a 'comma' after "fun" so people would pause]

    Anyways was a good poem.

  • 12 years ago

    by Tainted Beauty

    "Some make fun others back away"

    I didn't understand this line at first, maybe put a comma between "fun" and "others" it would make it flow better.

    Also "Deserted by chose" It should be choice:)

    Other than that, great poem, i loved the story of it and I'm sure a lot of people on this site can relate to everything said in this, I know i can. I liked the rhymes, they were subtle, but they were there. Great work.


  • 12 years ago

    by Liquid Dreams

    Good poem! thanks for the comment... but it wasn't my sister who died in the car accident... it was my of them died in the car accident.