Beckoning as the tragedy creeps closer, creating pain,
This has got to be the one of the best emotive poems I have ever read. I love how you always express exactly what you feel and have very deep words that actually make sense. I loved this poem and im gonna read the rest of yours! :P peace xo

The word choice in this is simply AMAZING, and the imagery is so strong! at first i didnt get it because of the format, but then i read how the poem is supposed to be set up and understood. i think that style is very interesting and might try it myself. anyways, this is an outstanding peice with a sad but powerful emotion behind it.

[ashes]

When I saw the title of this I was wary of reading it... I have a few issues with reading peices on abuse as I often find them very difficult to finish let alone start (but lets not get into that)

however, I'm glad that I did decide to read it. you wrote this fantastically, I really like the style, interesting and works well. your content is well presented with some brilliant use of vocab and evocotive aspects. amazing peice overall

5/5

5/5

Its very good has a good flow.
Sad storyline
I love this poem
~emah

Oh wow...this was terrific...it had great imagery...i could actually see the poor children...it had tons of emotion...a truly wonderful write...5/5.

Hey good poem! its so sad,
ive never heard these kind of poems either, but i think its awsome!
well done
love mel

It's really a brilliant poem. flow was excellent and i love ur use of the cinqtroisdecala rhyme. Really awesome. I think you addressed the issue of child abuse in one of the best ways i have ever seen.

it was insightful, emotional and universal. it incorporated every aspect of child abuse and the incredible loneliness that accompanies it. amazing poem. 5/5

You are really good at creating a depressing atmosphere with your words. It's quite amazing how well you do that. A very sad poem, and it's horrifying all the stories we here of child abuse. This is a really good poem of awareness, and we don't really realize the consequences of abusing a child. Good stuff.

I'm glad that you included the definition of Lamarca as the poem comes to a different light when we understand it's scheme and how it's suppose to read. Brilliantly done. The imagery was amazing and the choice of words were well though out. Great work! 5/5

Great job, I love poems that explain the horrors of Child abuse. Nice descriptions and imagery.

Awhh.. That was soo sad.. Excellently done though.. The flow was good and I liked the style you chose.. The descriptions were great and really showed what children go through.. And the emotion brought a tear to my eyes.. Great job! 5/5

Great i think u describe things great keep it up
=)

Wow, another exellent poem, i liked the flow it went very well.
you are teh greatest.
5/5

I like that one keep it up

Again a great use of language, its a heart breaking poem and you covered the topic very well!

Deep and powerful. The slightest bit repetitive, but not unless you read into it, i suppose. I love the 'beckoning' line. Very good!

This was a good poem, like the style too: yet it was very sad! about the children abuse!!!

keep it up!

Hey some of your poems are great and this poem make me feel so sad this is great for me thanks and may god bless u

Amazing! I was trying to write one of these styles of poems, I failed horribley. This is beautifully done, and horridly sad. Great work.

Woah!! This is soo sad. But it was great!! 5/5 No questions asked!