Aw, this is a really sweet poem. You expressed the emotion really well and the flow was wonderful. I don't want to seem picky or nothing lol but, I think it would look better if you capitalized your I's... Nonetheless, it's a wonderful read! 5/5
I really enjoyed this poem. The meaning is clear and obvious, but not glaringly obvious. You do have to delve into the words a bit to figure out just exactly what you're saying, and that makes this poem a great read.
The way you left out capitalization (I haven't read the rest of your poems, so I'm not sure if you always do this) makes the poem seem more like a plea, as well as the title. Again, I'm not sure if you meant it this way, but for me it definitely reads like that. It works really well like this, and catches the readers interest more intensely.
I'm not sure about the two lines in the middle. It does catch the reader off guard, if that's what you were going for, and it does have meaning, but it's very distracting and really throws off the rhythm. The rhyme in these two lines also seems quite forced, which throws off the beat. I would consider revising or deleting these two lines
All in all, though, this was a great poem. I would normally give it a four because of the two lines in the middle, but I can really relate to the meaning, so it gets a five. Great job!
You are an amazing poet and this is another well-written poem from you, the flow is great and the rhyme scheme works well with this poem. â€œYour face is still etched in my head Iâ€™m scared to let it go cause if I let you slip away I will be on my ownâ€ to me this is the strongest part of your poem this shows real, raw emotion, and the fact that you really truly cared for this person, in the case of a true story truly amazing.
And I can save you the counting with this and my name there are 105 words
This is an incredible poem. The words make what you're putting across so vivid. I love the "Your face is still etched in my head" line and the stanza about waiting by the phone. It's describes feelings in a way which everyone can understand. You put across the idea that what was going to happen was already decided at the beginning, I'm not sure if I believe in that but, I suppose it's a good thing to live by.
it was a great poem, I love it!
I know that even knowing that
i still will wait for you
i know i cannot bring you back
i never will succeed
there is no word in all the world
that would make you love me
awwwwwwwww.. the words realy relates to my story. i just do not know that how to express my feelings after readingyour poem. your poem realy touched my heart. that was such a nice cute and romanting. poems.. its the lasting love. and will never end. i think i must shoud add you in my favourites because i realy do no to miss you any new poem.
my friend take care. and remember me in your prays.
you have done excellent job on this poem. 5/5
This was a typically sweet and touching love poem, I still say typically because I'm sure you're aware it's an overused subject.
Coming from someone who doesn't like rhyme, the rhyme was ok.
I didn't like the placing of the almost random couplet amongst a poem of quarterns.
Simple yet sweet language, I'm sure many on this site (if they haven't stated already) will enjoy this.
Wow this was amaizing. I'm not normally a big fan with all of the I's and You's in a poem but for some reason they seemed to fit perfectly in this poem. The flow was amazing and everything seemed to flow right off the tip of my tongue when I read it and I didnt have to re read anything at all to understand it. Normally I would pick a favorite line or verse but in this case the entire poem spoke to me so I would just end up writing the whole thing again and thats pointless. Well amazing job. Very original, and I loved the feeling of losing someone you care about when you still need to hold on.
Oh, I LOVE this!
I found it to be a mixture of sweet and sad.
Imagery you painted was beautiful, it creates clear vivid pictures for the reader, flow was flawless throughout the entire poem and the emotion can clearly be felt behind the words.
The only thing I wasn't to sure on was the use of so many I's, but apart from that I adore this.
My favourite part was the ending, I thought it to be very sad, yet elegantly written, intense and hardhitting.
:O Little S poem.. how have i not seen this..
you even signed off on it with your real name...
This is so full of love lost and desire for it to spark up again and heartbreak.. so much pain.. I loved the rhyming in this and the layout.. but I can also see just how much you have progessed as a poet and as a person...