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Its different, I liked it alot up to the last set but otherwise I liked it. 4.0 keep it up
my fav lines
by Jenni Marie
I enjoyed this one too, I like these type of styles. I enjoyed the imagery and flow.
by Brittany C
I think that this poem needs more words to it. I liked it though. 5/5
Interesting style. I really enjoyed this. Just as a little advice, it's always best to use the right punctuation, etc. When you're writing "hes" there should be an apostrophe before the 's'. Anyhow, good work.
You are a good writer but your poems would probably be better of you had longer lines and more describing words just a suggestion