Comments : Society's Fall

  • 9 years ago

    by iloveyouandrew

    Wow....This is an amazing poem its so true i think im going to put you under my favorites good job !

  • 9 years ago

    by TAYLOR

    Well written :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Coldstone

    True... really i mean it!

  • Wow, the thing I love about this poem I that its all based on true facts. It saddens me that this is reality and what you have written is basically all true!

    "The mother who abandoned her kids
    Got only a measly fine
    The murderer got three years
    He's treated like it wasn't a serious crime."
    ^^
    This stanza is great, I love how you compare things, the rhyming and the word choice is perfect.

    "The monster's who abused their child
    Between them, didn't even get one year
    Just a few months is supposed to make up
    For all the time that child lived in fear."

    ^^
    Again this is a great stanza. Yet it brought tears to my eyes because I have seen what it can do to a person and I hate that they can ruin the life of a child/young adult and not get punished.

    "Seems like the law needs updating
    Innocents need protecting more"

    ^^^
    I agree the law is pathetic, people need to open their eyes and punish those who should be punished!

    "Bullies who drove someone to suicide
    They didn't get punished at all
    Seems like everyone's content so sit back
    And just watch our society fall."
    ^^^^
    Amazing way to end the poem, truly greatly written! The word choice you used and the imagery you created were perfect and this poem is one of the best ones I have read, for the reasons of what it is based on and the imagery you have created, it deserves more than a 5!

    Great Job

    ~ This Mask I Hold Is Not Held Tight ~

  • 9 years ago

    by Marcus blake

    Like the world in words or somthing i can't describe you explian the truth in ways i can imagine.

  • 9 years ago

    by silent turbulence

    Inspirational... trully...

  • 9 years ago

    by Mishka

    Wow, hunny... i sooo agree with you... SOOOOO agree with this poem. i am adding this to my favorites.
    it is sickening to know how those who get it easy are those who really did the most damage. i like how you talked about bullies...
    those do the most damage, especially in grade school...

    great poetry here.
    this is true and real and it deserves a 5.

  • This is very true.
    very good work.
    5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow I never thought about it like that. While I agree that every crime especially the ones that you have described in this poem should have some sort of repercussions attached to them I think that the system is messed up and they should reevaluate how much time is spent for each. I liked how you showed many different situations where the laws fall short instead of just complaining you gave examples. I think that my favorite part was the beginning you caught my interest and changed my views with that very first stanza after that was finished I was hooked and had to read the rest of the poem. And the title is a perfect fit.

  • 6 years ago

    by DirgeVenustas

    Amazing. i really enjoyed this poem. makes me think of one of mine. very unique and one of a kind. great job

  • 6 years ago

    by Fading Memory

    Sick society and failed reality

  • 6 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Wow! It really makes you think and look at things differently. It is really really cool! Good job!

  • 4 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    Awesome write!
    you got talent..!

  • 4 years ago

    by ZinaZonic

    Amazing, just amazing.

  • 2 years ago

    by DarkLight

    Society need teaching...
    We can't just sit back and watch it all fall to waste.

    Beautiful truth.