Aw hunny, that was so sad.
Brilliant work. I loved the repetition if the line 'I was alone in your city'.

Sitting in the bus
I was Searching you

I think it would sound better if you put the word 'for' between searching & you.
Great job. 5/5
Rebeccax

Aww heartbreaking poem. Its amazing how everything so little you turned special in this poem. So very sweet and sad write, can feel your pain in here. Keep up the great work!
5/5

Ohhhh this is just beautiful!
The depth and emotion scream through the words, the repetition makes the piece very powerful, the opening is powerful with it getting better and better from thereon, and the ending is so sad and moving.
beautiful.

There was a lot of emotion in this poem and overall it sounded good. I think some of it could use rewording. For example; the 4th stanza could say something like

Standing in front of your home,
I was looking into your window

And the 5th stanza, 2nd line could say
Bravely I knocked on your door..

Overall it was good though, I give it a 4/5

Tyanna

That's sad but really pretty, well writen.

~*Alex*~

Hm . I feel ike you couldn`ve done more with this . Some parts were dlflsdfjlsdjf; (not a good thing) but overall, that was nicely written .

Time came to say good bye
My lips were locked for a second
I saw you last time and gone
I was so alone in your city
`I loved that stanza .

This whole poem was just yelling out of a desired/longing of love .
..__MiNDYY

I love your poem its really sweet but so sad 5/5

This was sad. =[
The repetition really made the point come across and hit deep.

"i entered in your home
I still was so alone"

I loved those lines.
Not sure why, it just showed that even when you were with her, you felt alone.
Strong feelings.

Good work =]

Beautiful, Truly Beautiful. This had really good word structure, and a wonderful flow as well.

Keep it up! 5/5

First of all, I got a cousin called Hassan :-D, lol. I reallyl iked yourp oem its a good read, really refreshing how you open up to your ideas and thoughts. xxx alex xxx

This poem made me feel impatient.. ^^
The moment when he was talking with her father really made me more impatient... ^^
Good style...
Great poem... ^^
5/5

That is a sad poem, but i feel that you said that you were alone in her city too much and it kindof through me off a little bit but it was a good write though. I liked how you told a story and the flow was pretty good...4/5

Wow. Ok. So, here's the deal. I thought you did a good job in some parts. But a lot of the rhymes sound a little forced, maybe read it aloud to yourself to catch how they seem to sound a little weird. The flow isn't too bad, though, considering. The repitition is a bit annoying. But over all, not bad.

This ia an amazing, very touching poem you have alot of talent keep up the good work.

That was really great =) I totally understand the feeling of being this alone =( A really great job on writing this one =) I could actually feel the lonelyness behind this one ^_^ 5/5 =D
Rhea

P.S. Thanks for the great comment =D I truly enjoyed reading it and hearing what you thought of it =) It's comments like yours that encourage me to keep writing =)

Such a sad poem. I can really feel your pain and loneliness in this. The flow was good and the repetitive lines were really effective. While reading this I could imagine it all happening. A well penned poem. 5/5

Tammie

Searching you = Searching for you

good bye = usually expressed as one word, "goodbye"

lips were locked = lips were pursed (not that important, but I believe pursed better suits the situation... it's up to you, of course)

This poem is very beautiful, and I can tell that behind these words, there is such talent. However, I believe this poem is much too choppy. You don't have any punctuation, capitalization, and some sentences and lines seem to be random, incomplete, or misused or out of order. I don't think that you put that much thought into this poem, or as much that could have been. I enjoyed it, and I suggest capitalizing important letters such as "I" and also placing punctuation in your poem to allow the reader to tell how to react when the end of a line comes. I think that you should also revise your poem and repost it. When you've done so, I suggest you p/m the link to me so that you mat recieve a proper comment and accurate revisions from me. Despite all the errors, well done job on your poem =]

5/5
~Stephen White

I love how you make the city her possession..its a great concept, just gives it that home-y feeling..great work!

"I was so alone in your city" I especially love that there...just..wow, great work!

Wow.
this poem is very different but really good too.
the stanzas:

Sitting in the bus
I was Searching you
in people rush
I was alone in your city

My eyes saw so many fears
In my gloomy tears
Hoping to meet you
I was alone in your city

were definitely my favourites.
they reminded me of a friend of myn n our relationship with one another.

much love .xx

Er.. This poem put me to tears.. It reminded me of my last day in my homeland..

Anyway, I can feel the emotions in this poem.. I like the way to repeated 'I was alone in your city' - it was effective.. Flow was smooth, well done.