Wow.. that had a lot of depth to it hun.
I loved the whole 'bump' jolting back to reality
Nicely written
5/5
*Gem*

(P.S. Rhyming is easy once you get the hang of it =) I find free verse so so so difficult yet you make it look easy =)

Another cool one. 5/5

Hi Alex!

I really like this poem ,and it is full of emotion! Really beautifuly written.

my only suggestion would be to work with the lines, break them up a little to make them easier to read and flow.

I loved it though! well done x

Wow lots of emotion!! great job.. 5/5

That was filled with emotion. Such a wonderful poem to read, i liked it :)...id like to see longer ones though ;)

Dieing = dying

I liked this poem.. it was short and I liked how nothign rhymed.. the only thing I would change is I would put some metaphores in it.. makes it a bit more creative and more poem like instead of just seeming like a story.

I agree with Gem, you make it look easy. I have a hard time writing poems taht don't rhyme. Good work though, kiddo. I liked the message in this poem. =)
~Ally~

Good work...very touching...sudden ride to reality...great work....u've done this one so well..in a real well manner..kp it up!
xxPoojaxx

Aahaa it relates to me.. nice work i loved your poem offcourse words was also nicely used in this poem i willm ust give 5/5

This is beautifully written and so very sad at the same time...though short you managed to put such a lot of emotion and depth into this piece, and it makes for a very intense read.
beautiful work.