Endlessly in the Dark

"Searching for my mind's own fuel
Losing in the same breath
Light shalln't penetrate
Through my final death"

wow, i almost interpret and envision this stanza describing your mind as a grave or cemetary.

"Entranced flames flicker
Through the latest hour
A cold heart's wish:
To search and devour"

i can sense the sound of the flickering lights about to diminish as your consumed in this dark place.

"Preying on the enemy
Who has fast become a friend
Is turning you into a monster
Ready to meet it's end"

i'm not quite sure i grasp the first two lines. who's the enemy being preyed on, and who's the friend?

"I'm looking for your antidote
Making a valid attempt
Trying to comb through your head
Your thoughts remain unkempt"

are you trying to look for an antidote in him, something that he will say or do to make you change your mind? i really love this stanza.

"Still searching for anything
Your mind is my world
A soul has been detatched from it
Your blood is thick and curled"

first two lines....perfection.

"I still try to find your soul
Yet continue to miss the mark
The lack of light is the reason for blindness
As I am endlessly in the dark"

brilliant ending! especially the last two lines. your were searching for the light in him but since you can't your continually living in darkness.

your writing never ceases to amaze me. love your work always. huge fan :) keep that pen flowing hun. 5/5

Hey,
First of all i apoligse for the late comment return.
Anyways this poem was really enjoyable. I liked the rhyme scheme of the secound and fourth line rhying. It worked well. Thr first stanza creates this really dark image. Its a good introduction, you mention that light cant penatrate and this gives referance back to the title. The words "flames flicker" in the seocund stanza, well after reading this line i could sense the flame kinda flickering. I could also hear this kindof sound, it made me feel this little lightwas going to go out soon. The meaning of this is quite clear. The third stanza you dont clearly say who this friend/enemy is. But after reading it i assume its a weapon. The word "antidote" made me curious when i came across it. Your looking for a cure? You have already killed yourself, yet maybe it means that your regretting what youve done. The way you describe the blood is really vivd and the minds eye can see what youve done. The flow of the poem was really great. Good vocabulary used. I suggest you use more varied punctuation though. Keep writing! xx

Cool poem. It's sad and dark. I loved it. Great word choice once again. I gave it a 5/5.

I actually got goosebumps reading this. It's fantastic. Great work. Damn, i have chills. *shivers but smiles and waves*

Josie

Wow that was good, dark, I LOVED IT, Best poem i read all day, you just made my favorites maybe u can read one of mine.