Comments : Fallen Angels

  • 11 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    A sense of helplessness all around
    Thick aroma of blood in the air
    People lie fatally injured on the ground
    Blood and sweat have matted my hair
    ^^Excellent work!...great great choice of words..
    Vivid clear description...And the topic chosen is amazing
    Very good write!
    Kp it up!

  • 11 years ago

    by unknown

    Great poem...
    It's describe our world now...
    Line by line...
    Innocent people and good people died...
    Parents leave her child alone in this world...
    I can feel the bad impact of the war by reading this... ^^
    Excellent , great poem...

  • 11 years ago

    by Monica AKA Mika

    WOW this poem makes me wanna cry my favorite part was: "Eyes dart rapidly in every direction
    Trying to make sense of this horror
    Fear is slowly crushing my soul
    Wondering if I'll be here tomorrow" that is so true to me because you dont know if you will be here tommarow n i just love the way you put that into words! Great job..5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Amazing, really amazing. Great choice of words!

  • 11 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    I love this lines....

    So many lives have been lost
    More families lose someone they love
    So many champions and heroes
    Being claimed from up above

    it was really expressed ur words for this part, and i can deeply understand all the words its totally well written.. there are some lines really toucy my heart. and i think this is one of ur best! the rhyming was really pretty good and great structures. just keep in up and u deserve to give u an over all 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by firexdancer

    This is really beautiful, it's so sad because this poem is true. and i am really amazed that you could write it as one in the battle, and your flow and vocab is still really good. wow.

  • 11 years ago

    by Kaila

    Good job
    nice imagery
    vocabulary was wonderful
    you did an excellent job

  • 11 years ago

    by Boy

    Everyone is in a world of pain
    How can some people be so cruel
    To treat life as some kind of game?

    well before saying anything i just want to say you that you have alot of talent. your poem was nisely panned. and understandable. the meaning and emotions and the figure you wanted to put in that poem was clear. i lve your poem you can do very well in writing. hopeto see you again take care 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    I really love the opening stanza of the poem! You have created an interesting setting for the poem, Well done! Choice of words was superb! It was long but worth reading :) 5/5!

    My favorite line:
    Fear is slowly crushing my soul

  • 11 years ago

    by Startle Me

    Your first stanza was... cliched.
    I'm sorry, dearest.
    It's definitely not what I expected from a platinum awarded person :[

    Your second stanza?
    Your last line doesn't really flow that well.
    Maybe you could change it into something like
    "As blood and sweat mat my hair"

    Third stanza?
    Perfecto :]

    Fourth stanza.
    Your last line didn't flow well, either.
    Maybe because it hade "so" in there.
    I never liked that word.

    Fourth and fifth were okay.
    It wasn't great.

    Your others?
    I loved it :]

    I have to congrats you, my dear.
    It was a slow beginning the rest was okay.
    I didn't think it would be, though.
    I thought it would've fallen for ciched.

    You descriptions were wonderful.
    I could feel, see, and hear.
    I don't quite understand it, though.
    When am I ever going to see this?
    I don't know...
    Maybe I'm the only one.
    I'm going to give you a 4/5
    So I guess I won't vote because you've got a perfect score. =[

  • 11 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Beautifully written, vivid imagery deep powerful emtion excellent word choice and brillant vocab. this was really good, the message was clear, and stong in the perfectly penned peice well done 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by chiper daniela

    I love it!

  • 11 years ago

    by Brook

    This is really good. Your opinion is heard loud and clear. Very well written& expressed.

  • 11 years ago

    by Lost Angel

    Wow... that was so good! I juss want to read it over and over again! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by The Herald

    Is thist abut the war? then i giv u 0/5. my father fought, so that you could write these things. doesnt that make u feel bad? i guess not.

  • 11 years ago

    by kimberly monks

    I love this poem, I can definately relate

  • 11 years ago

    by bella

    Awesum poem keep up the good work

  • 11 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This is such a fantastic poem with such great meaning, the flow is good and the word choice is as well. I loved the last stanza especially because the words are so very true, I don't understand why we fight wars and waste so many young and innocent lives when it's never going to get any better. Fantastic job 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Awe, such a sad poem. I like how a scared emotion is emitted in every stanza, as if the persona is truly terrified of what is going to happen to them in the [scary] world of which we live in.

    "Now there's barely nothing left at all" - I think this would work better as 'Now there's barely [anything] left at all'.

    Overall, good job.

  • 11 years ago

    by Lacee

    Amn this is a great poem, what made u feel ths way to write it??