Comments : Come clarity

  • 11 years ago

    by Nick who Plays Pool

    First off I'd like to say that this poem has a wonderful flow to it and it started off with that flow and carried it along all the way to the end of the poem. You told a fascinating story which I thought was rather interesting. The poem was well written and organized; the vocabulary you used was very wide ranged. I like how you added rhyme to it, which added to the flow. My favorite stanza where you really introduced the rhyme to the poem was the third stanza. Overall it's a wonderful poem, keep up the good work.

    Peace, Poetry & Power,


  • 11 years ago

    by Tracy D Rollings

    Excellent poem, great flow all the way through ,made me stop and think about my life at this point,: This got me ,it's like reading what i'm living thanks : The kick was gone and you left without suspense,
    Like a cold thriller novel that wasn't all that tense.
    You left me on this island in a state of insularity,
    And I was starring at the seabed hoping for some sort of clarity.
    I'm still waiting for it to call. Great job, your friend Tracy dean 5/5

  • 11 years ago


    I loved this. The imagery was awesome as was your word choice. The flow was kind of off at a few parts, but it wasn' too too serious. One thing though,

    "And I was starring at the seabed hoping for some sort of clarity."

    ^^ "starring" should be "staring"


  • 11 years ago

    by Rhiannon

    This is a really well written poem. I enjoyed it.
    P.S. Bright Eyes is one of my favorite bands. =]

  • 11 years ago

    by C Cattaway

    Yes, I see what you are saying, although I question wether you mean your words.. if the kick was gone, and he left without suspense, then it makes moving on all the easier, and yet the clarity doesn't come until you're sure that it's accepted.. I wonder if your heart is pretending that it's all ok..?? Very well written. xx