Comments : Happy Father's Day

  • 10 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Ohhh wow that was simply amazing. I really really loved this so full of anger and hate, well written, powerful, great flow, word choice is excellent, there is no way to improve on perfection. I really like this it is effin powerful, and it deserves more thatn 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Alex

    Wow, that was amazing and full of emotion, made me actually tear up, really good and really strong writing. I thought it was great, and it was really nice reading someones poem who had good grammer and stuff, it was so easy to understand and read. It flowed and was good rhyming. Really enjoyable to read.

    ~*Alex*~

  • 10 years ago

    by Kaila

    Wow...!
    So much anger,hate, and frustration brought out into this poem.
    I can't even imagine what you must feel like.
    I'm so sorry.
    I too do not have a real dad.
    My dad passed when I was only 3.
    So I guess I can somewhat relate.
    You did a wonderful job
    5/5
    kaila

  • 10 years ago

    by Fluffy

    A good poem. You have applied language and some poetic tools throughout this piece in a distinct manner, although I would agree with your statement above the poem:
    'I wrote it more out of anger than anything'…
    …which is fine, although there is room for improvement.

    The use of repetition works well in particular cases, however, the poem tends to lose its effect once you start using the term 'dad' endlessly. Now, I don't blame you, nor the poem- I mean the poem is concerning a 'dad', but you could try and balance the piece up with alternatives such as 'father' or 'parent'. Now, I know this may disturb the rhyme you have going on; but even in a poem where a rhyming scheme is the integral part, it isn't necessary to have it in every stanza. It just seems a little forced that way, if you get my meaning.

    Other than that, a well written poem. Well done :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I liked this poem alot I can myself relate to this in more ways then one. I liked the repetition throughout this, although I found you used the word "dad" too much throughout this but then again there are not so many names that you called call your father. I loved the ryhme it was on flow, your word choice was simple yet effective. None the less I liked the emotion you portrayed in this poem it was strong and powerful and I do see you wrote this out of anger. Well done. An enjoyable read with a twist on a fathersday poem. ~mel

  • 10 years ago

    by Fsams

    Wow, this is superb and outstanding with lucid irony in it. I really liked the way you have put the words and beautiful rhyming lexis.

    I would like to know "I don't even know why I try." the hidden meaning in this line coz I felt little skeptical about this line.

    However its just worth 5/5 and you got it.

    With love
    Fsams

  • 10 years ago

    by Wallace

    Very good poem, very interesting. I could feel the emotions in that poem and i thought that was very good. Although i saw where a change could be made, and it was in this verse.

    I now give you the best father award.
    You are best at hurting me.
    You are best at not caring at all.
    You are best at just leaving me be.

    Instead of reaeating 'you are best' three times, i think it would sound better if you drop the 'you are' in the third and fourth line, so it would sound like this;

    I now give you the best father award.
    You are best at hurting me.
    Best at not caring at all.
    Best at just leaving me be.

    Hope i helped.
    Wallace.

  • 10 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    I understand your anger and your hate for him...And you reflected those so well on this
    You're not alone and just don't worry as you say you don't
    Life is too short to worry
    Take care,
    Laura

  • 10 years ago

    by Jessica

    Aww this was sad,, i liked it ,, 5/5
    Janaynay
    P.S. Im sorry

  • 10 years ago

    by hani

    Hi
    very nice and beautiful poem 5/5 .
    and i'll appreciate your vote and comment for my poems
    hani

  • 10 years ago

    by bacha

    Gooooooood very good:):))

    iloved it for sure:):)

    keep it up:))))

    khuloodan:)
    smile all the time:)