Wow. i'm happy you wrote another poem like this, i think there need to be tons of poems as beautiful as yours written on this subject, because it is so true and real.
you made it into a really beautiful poem though, the flow was really good, but you're wording and emotion was what i thought was best.
Every man has a good and an evil side. The circumstances and his own strenght to do good determine his actions. It's not just black and white in this world, David. As you grow older you'll find out that it's mostly grey(learning to compromise)
Wow. Excellently penned poem David. This has to be one of the best poems you've written I'd say. You really have improved. The thought and meaning behind this and the truth in the words, make this poem so powerful. This is an issue that a lot of people feel strongly about, as do I and it's refreshing to read a poem on a serious issue like this.
The flow was good, maybe a bit off at points but hardly noticeable. The rhyming great, it didn't sound forced at all. The vocab was excellent in this, better than your other poems, there was a wider usage of words. I love the first and last stanza's most, they really stood out to me. A wonderful poem. 5/5 You really deserve it. =]
Nice poem...absolutely true and i bet it would be most appreciated round my small european country (portugal), because we're having a lot of dumb issues about prime ministers and stuff... closing down hospitals and then going on holidays while the country is on fire (last year it was really horrible on summer... all our little forests burning down...)
well, about your poem...=))
it's really well written (like all of yours are), is absolutely true (i guess i already said that...) and i'm somehow feeling inspiration to write a poem about our forests...(thanks, i haven't been writing for a week or two...)
5/5 for sure...
keep going always
"Money spent on holidays and trips round the world
While others die of hunger and thirst
The prime minister will keep on living longer
He doesn't know how to live in the unknowing worst"
Theres a green monster in all of our eyes, its known as greed. We take for granted what we have, and still feel the need to spend more money on ourselves. Poverty is never going to end because too many people are consumed in their materialistic worlds. I really loved this poem, great that you can talk about such an important issue in society today with some real emotion in it.
I feel very strongly about goverment issues myself
I think it's cool that you feel the same
greed and money and everything in the world today is so not cool
everything in the enviroment is being burned or trashed
and again to know so many people agree about one subject is amazing
so david keep it up
I loved this poem. It must be one I havent seen yet cause there isnt a comment from me. I loved the emotion and the flow of the poem. Its meaning ... woah, it hit me darls.
I loved this and one day i hope to write a poem that is full as emotion as this one...
fav stanza: His life is glamour and star lit balls
Of expensive food and parties
While others are living in dirt and grime
Just wanting life's simple necessities.
I found that poem simply amazing. It blew my mind, sent it thinking andmy thought process won't stop now. It makes a person open her eyes to what's really going on in a very good view. I really enjoyed reading that poem, it flowed well, even when read aloud.
Very, very good.