Living Dead

by Vanessa   Aug 7, 2007


The suffering, her suffering
......Her pain is just too great
As she neared the murky water
......She dove into her fate.

...into the murky water
...She dove into her fate

They cried, his body shook
......His hands cradled his face
On his knees he prayed to God
......To let him take her place

...he prayed to God
...To let him take her place

She was his one and only love
......The apple of his very eye
Life will be hard without her
......He doesn't even want to try

...life is lonely without her
...He doesn't want to try

He slipped into a depression
......His body and soul wearing thin
He'd give anything if it hadn't happened
......And he could be with her again

...if it hadn't happened
...He could be with her again

She is dead, and he is dying
......Every night he drank himself to sleep
The alcohol helped ease his pain
......But did nothing for secrets he had to keep

...Alcohol eased the pain
...But not secrets he had to keep

One day it proved to be too much
......Without her he had no will to live
So he bought a gun, and wrote a note
......His soul to God he did give

...Bought a gun, wrote a note
...His soul to God he'd give

The gunshot echoed though the night
......Staining the white walls red
His body dropped to the satin sheets
......He was no longer living dead

...dropped to satin sheets
...No longer living dead

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by my name is Llama

    I had to read this a few times to comprehend, not the usualy style but still fitted nicely. I was a bit confused when you used the term 'dove'...did you mean drove. slightly cliche but still powerful imagery. well done xoxo

  • 16 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    Wow. This was quite amazing. I love the structure here. The repetition made for a very powerful read without being too overbearing. def a 5/5

    marcella

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSuicidalxx

    Wow! Spectaular poem! It is so sad but so beautiful! Amazing write!!!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Kyrodo

    I know how it feels, when it feels like one's dying inside. Half-dead, half alive. Looking back though, I guess I was being kinda foolish.

    It was portrayed really well ^^. It's dark and sad, but I likes it. You did great job on it1

  • 16 years ago

    by DeadandBleeding

    I love the way you've used repetition to enhance the more poowerful parts of the poem, it works really well. Such an in-depth piece (sorry for the pun, i didn't mean that literally lol)
    DnB