Comments : Perfect

  • 2 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Oh, interesting that your first poems were love poems! I do not know why this surprises me, but it does.

    I liked this poem content again, how you really describe every detail that you think was perfect about them, and the way he loved you. There were certain lines I felt held the poem back, like ...

    His lips were warm,
    Comfortably warm.

    - you could just have "his lips were comfortably warm"

    There are a few places where you could change the two lines into one line like so, but I understand this was the style you wrote in back then.

    Nice work.