Journey

by N J Thornton   Nov 21, 2007


I was trying to hear the song
on the radio. He'd turned it
down to hear himself talk.
I wasnt listening to him. I never
did anymore.

He steered us around the misshapen
roads, while I admired the view.

We use to love the Mother and
the Father. We were in love once.
Mother nurtured our bond;
Father gave us faith.
We lost both on the road some
miles back.

Each winding corner tossed
us back and forth. The journey was long.
I was getting motion sickness.
He was getting tired.

He turned the radio up.
It was our song. I didn't even
recognise it.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    It's not meant to flow, nor is it meant to be emotional. Think of the poem's subject - bumpy journey and becoming distant from a partner.

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    Hmm. I think the flow was off in this one, the actual idea of it was great. But, I'm not too fond of it.

    Maybe word it a bit different, or break up the stanzas differently?
    I'm not quite sure, or I'd show you what I think.
    But, there's just something about it, eh. . .
    Maybe lack of emotion?

    I wish I could tell you.
    Maybe it's a little of everything?

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