Bitter

by silvershoes   Dec 13, 2007


Bitter
Walking through the valley
The sun tiring her eyes
Seems to melt upon her lids
Perspiration on her mouth
Licks her sea salt lips
The boysenberry faded
Long, long ago
Bitter
'Not everything is fair,'
She whispers to lonesome mist
'But everything could be'
With a hand brushing bangs
The cold makes her hair stiff
Each strand a weary soldier
'But why me?' he asks,
And she says, 'Who else?
Who could be the better player?'
Bitter
I hope she knows rumors die
Because a storm comes tonight
The wind is picking up and
Things will change all too soon
The present is already
Long, long ago

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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Brenda

    Jane, what an awesome write. The visuals with this are so spot on. Well done -

  • 6 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Jane, I thought I would hoodwink you and dig up an old one from your account.
    I will be honest and say I could only hazard a guess as to the meaning of this, but with equal and so believable honesty, I can say that the imagery is astounding and this line - 'The cold makes her hair stiff Each strand a weary soldier' - genuinely impressed me.

    All the best as ever,

    Ben

    • 6 years ago

      by silvershoes

      Thanks for giving an older poem a little attention, Ben. These ancient poems of mine are getting dusty.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Bitter >>what a beginning..very interesting!!

    Walking through the valley
    The sun makes her eyes tired
    >> I really prefer : The sun tiring her eyes
    since ist a free verse so rewording wont
    harm the flow..and that way is really better
    but remains my opinion..only

    Seems to melt upon her lids
    Perspiration on her mouth
    Licks her sea salt lips
    >>>OMGOMG...incredible

    and for the following stanzas...how u said
    Bitter not everything is fair..Bitter...
    u gave me an extreme inspiration for a poem..
    ur so inspiring and this poem of urs..is jiusssttt
    as amazing!!!

    5/5
    applauds

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