I Was Never Right Before

by Erinbob   Dec 13, 2007


It's not the way You let me be
It's not the way I see
It's not the tension or appeal
That thanks You for every meal.

In the past I tore Your faith
Accepting the pearl-formed wraiths
In wickedness I desired to strive
But You are the One who set me alive!

In the distant memories I fell
Lost in darkness' binding spell
I harkened to shadows and drank my blood
But now I'm covered in Your saving Blood.

Even though I begged You leave
Even though my time did seive,
In my trance You heard my cry
You heard me moan and heard me sigh.

In my haste I withdrew times over
I grew so tired -- I didn't want to know 'her'.
I knew that if I didn't repent
My chances at life would be coursely spent.

I know that You saw me in every day
In every aspect and in every way.
I guess I don't really have any regret...
What I learned, I know, and I'll never forget.

My true regret is that I couldn't believe
That I couldn't love and couldn't receive...
...The portion, the blessing You longed to give...
The life I was living... I thought that was "to live".

You've directed me and You've made my paths straight
You took away my sorrow -- You bound my hate.
If one knowledge I know that to people I could send...
Is that You are the reason my soul could mend.

I pray in faith to bind the world's deceit
I lay all it's things down before Your feet...
I pray for my friends... and the ones I can't see
To accept the Truth -- that's who they should be.

I want to die knowing they've succeeded
I want them to know, "The darkness is defeated!"
You alone can gaze into their eyes
And know their desires - and know their "Why!?"s.

I ache to repair the damage I've done...
The lies I've told and the dark webs I've spun.
What I pulled people to be...
What they digested from me.

Forgive me, my Lord, for I led them in haste
Away from Your arms... Oh such distaste!
How could I have done it... I was such a fool...
I thought I was powerful... I thought I was "cooool".

Let the Truth of Your Word chase away my lies of old...
Please, Lord Jesus, loose your angels so bold!
Protect my friends, I plead your Blood on their ears!
Show them direction and calm their fears!

I want so badly to see Your face
To kneel at Your feet and be caressed in Your grace
My everything is for You - What You want is my desire...
Let my eternal love for You be shown - it will never expire.

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