"Take it back, all the laws we've broken
Seven livelihoods, livelihoods
Commanded, ways that we've misspoken
Take away the good,"
- Love those lines! Wonderfully thought - out

As usualy I'm not quite sure I can completely comment on your piece here, but I can tell you from what I see (and hear in my head, haha) it seems to be a wonderfully written piece. I'd enjoy hearing one sometime? Maybe. (: It'd let me know if you're as good a lyricist as an actual writer.

This is amazing! It was very emotional and expressive. I especially love the chorus although my other favorite part is the last non-chorus stanza. I also thought you chose the perfect words to repeat. The flow was good. I usually try to give suggestions of improvement but have no desire to change anything about this one.
5/5 <3 and I would LOVE to hear this as a song.

This was a excellant poem. The context was true and the fllow was good and the rhyme as well. You have put forth again your emotion an it was excellant. There is nothing in this poem that I would want to change. Good Job.