Don't know how I missed this one....I think someone posted so many before yours it got pushed to the second page. Love the way it sounds like your describing somethig else...then the switch up...lol
Hehe this was great!! you had me fooled until the very end =)
10 years ago
I hope i find a sofa as good as yours.the that makes me depress when i have to leave..mattr of fact when i sit down i don't feel like getting back up...but i love this poem its so funny,cute thoughtful even though its about a sofa or should i say thee sofa!!...=)
You know what...I know this is a funny piece but it's something that is REALLY sad HAHAHA My family had these couches for a very long time and when it was time to get rid of them everyone was a little broken up about it.
The house feels so empty without you
Everything seems so out of place
[The house feels so empty without you
everything's so out of place]
- For some odd reason I wasn't fond with the usage of "seems" I think that it didn't connect well with the word "feel". Maybe because of the double -e? It's just my opinion, though.
You were always there to lean upon
To cuddle up to
Always so warm and inviting
[You were always there to lean upon,
to cuddle up to, so warm and inviting]
- The second line seemed a bit too short and the next line used 'always' again. And, it messed with the flow for me.
Never complained when I was angry
And threw things at you
- I liked these lines. They make the poem original. I don't think I've ever read a poem where people apologized for throwing things at someone else. I'm sure they're out there, but I like the idea of it. Makes it a bit more direct. And, I like when people make poems direct, as long as they're not over doing it.
You were always there with open arms
You looked proud and touch
[You were always there with open arms
You looked proud and touchED]
- I'm guessing you mean 'touched'. I'm not quite sure, but that's what I'm assuming by the lines before and after.
You were fading away, became so pale
[You were fading away, becoming so pale]
[You were fading away, you became so pale.]
Hahaha. I honestly did NOT expect the ending. I didn't even realize that it was under funny poems, which is odd because there's bright yellowing surrounding the loss of something. Fifteen years is a LONG time for a couch, I've seen them last 9 or 10 but not 15. You must take excellent care of your things. Which is good! (: