Don't know how I missed this one....I think someone posted so many before yours it got pushed to the second page. Love the way it sounds like your describing somethig else...then the switch up...lol
I hope i find a sofa as good as yours.the that makes me depress when i have to leave..mattr of fact when i sit down i don't feel like getting back up...but i love this poem its so funny,cute thoughtful even though its about a sofa or should i say thee sofa!!...=)
You know what...I know this is a funny piece but it's something that is REALLY sad HAHAHA My family had these couches for a very long time and when it was time to get rid of them everyone was a little broken up about it.
The house feels so empty without you
Everything seems so out of place
[The house feels so empty without you
everything's so out of place]
- For some odd reason I wasn't fond with the usage of "seems" I think that it didn't connect well with the word "feel". Maybe because of the double -e? It's just my opinion, though.
You were always there to lean upon
To cuddle up to
Always so warm and inviting
[You were always there to lean upon,
to cuddle up to, so warm and inviting]
- The second line seemed a bit too short and the next line used 'always' again. And, it messed with the flow for me.
Never complained when I was angry
And threw things at you
- I liked these lines. They make the poem original. I don't think I've ever read a poem where people apologized for throwing things at someone else. I'm sure they're out there, but I like the idea of it. Makes it a bit more direct. And, I like when people make poems direct, as long as they're not over doing it.
You were always there with open arms
You looked proud and touch
[You were always there with open arms
You looked proud and touchED]
- I'm guessing you mean 'touched'. I'm not quite sure, but that's what I'm assuming by the lines before and after.
You were fading away, became so pale
[You were fading away, becoming so pale]
[You were fading away, you became so pale.]
Hahaha. I honestly did NOT expect the ending. I didn't even realize that it was under funny poems, which is odd because there's bright yellowing surrounding the loss of something. Fifteen years is a LONG time for a couch, I've seen them last 9 or 10 but not 15. You must take excellent care of your things. Which is good! (: