Comments : My Surgeon

  • 9 years ago

    by The Pessimistic Peabody

    Excellent poetic write, very dismal, but overflowing with powerful emotion that just sucked me in. The storyline was perfect, as was the flow and both allowed me to fully immerse myself into the poem. well done 5/5 keep it up ex-leaderman!

  • 9 years ago

    by RawrItsDollfacex

    Awe that was great :] idk how but i somehow got booted from your club :[ but yes your poems are very inspiring :D

  • 9 years ago

    by ABake

    Another poem to comment. Yay. I like the title a different twist for the category it is placed in. So let's get started...

    First stanza: I liked it for the opening of the poem definintly made me wonder what the overall theme will be. One thing that just didn't fit with me was the word here in the last stanza. I have no idea why but it threw me off...

    Second stanza: Aww. My heart fluttered. Lol. This stanza was adorable and the 'tis was a great word addition and you don't see that too often. I liked it. The message was short and meaningful and didn't loose the emotion due to the shortness. Great thing to have...

    Third stanza: Your punctuation is wonderful not only in this particular stanza but in what I have read so far. Great job. I can relate to the emotions being felt well expressed in this stanza and the overall peice. Your flow is smooth so far...

    Fourth: No mistakes yet. I love the simplicity and the way your word things has taken away the whole cliche-ness that you would get in other peices.

    Fifth: No I wanted the happiness to continue. A great way to transition into another emotion and a twist to the storyline as well. It is actually a great suprise for the reader and kept me interested.The brackets. You already know what I think about them so I won't say it all again :]]

    Sixth stanza: Your flow what happened? In certain spots your rhyming just abit then its the whole stanza kinda throws you off a tad bit but the depth and beauty of the peice keeps you here. Well atleast for me anyways. Good rhyme though.

    Seventh: I loved the word mere which was used in the second line. It just added something different to the simplicity of the peice, which is always good. I never thought of putting the -- in the beginning of the line but I must say you use it very well and in the right places...

    Eighth: Aww. This poem has continued to make me smile. Ecspecially [sp] this stanza. Love is often overlooked and little things that cause happiness such as the texture of the persons skin or whatever. The way that you added that line was perfect. I think it was in the perfect place. Loved it...

    Last one: Oh boy now I see where the title comes in and let me say its PERFECT. Flippin' amazing. Breath taking and just wow. You summed up the poem completely and wonderfully I have no idea what to say.

    So overall, an amazing peice. Not too much for me to complain or crticize on. Almost flawless. Great job darling :]]
    5.5

    Amber.

  • 9 years ago

    by JEFF

    I really enjoyed this one

  • 9 years ago

    by hiddenimage

    I just love your poems... becuase i can relate to them... the emotions behind them are real. you feel it through the poem with out even looking for it. 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by trippetta TC

    Was reading this poem right when janis japlin piece of my heart came on, when along lovely, not to undermine the sentiment at all though just a lovely ride!!