That was really good and clever. keep it going

Oh my LOL... I absolutley love the meaning and the sarcastic tone in this piece. It is very powerful and a wonderful perspective.

So many times our poems when we hurt consist of tears and why me's; it is so refreshing to see a poem written with a smidge and hint of revenge, coldness, and anger.

Very well quilled.

~~Sher

Wow this is a awesome poem and it sounds like u someone not to mess with. I think we all get like this some times

{And as mascara stains your cheeks...I smile.}
`Oh, what a beautiful opening. The brackets make it even stronger -- and it just made me laugh from the start.

Didn't you realize that eventually one day, sweetheart
Someone would tire of your idiotic stories and games?
That maybe one day, someone would do something
And make you appreciate that "paybacks a b.itch?"
`First stanza wasn't as strong as I expected it to be. I feel like you can do more with it. The "sweetheart" kind of made it sound funny. But the rest of it flowed easy.

Look at that; you're drowning, didn't you learn to swim?
`The mockery in that line is just so worth worshipping. The concept with drowning and such has been used quite often, but in this piece it's just so amusing.

The boot's on the other foot, you've become the toy
And oh how it amuses me to make you so ashamed
`Can I say, right now, that if I had read this a year ago, I would've taken these lines and shoved them down my despicable "ex-boyfriend"s throat? (:

Look, I'm taking so much pleasure in your pain
Enjoying the fact you have no idea I'm causing it all
Whispering false words of comfort when you weep
Inside I'm reveling in the fact you're falling apart
`I love how the first line makes me picture someone (since I don't know what you look like) screaming and pointing at themselves while laughing at someone else. This is also such a universal feeling -- for a lot of people I know anyway, and since I know the feeling, it's all that much more enjoyable to me.

Shouldn't play games with someone who can play better
`Oh, what a line. Speaks such truth that so many people should realize. You put it into simple words that address such depth.

Oh isn't it a shame you've fallen into your own deceit
Can you see the surface yet, do you know which way is up?
`THE SARCASM. I absolutely adore this piece, since I myself am quite the esteem-killer. For some reason though, I am really tempted to read it : "Can you see the surface yet,
Or do you not know which way is up?"
I don't know, it just sounds better -- but it's your piece, and I think I may say things and read them quite differently. Just a thought.

It's a dangerous seductive game in the world of betrayal
`The use of "dangerous seductive" together made the line a tad bit too long, but it doesn't mess with the flow noticably.

But I guess you just never thought that far ahead
Oh sweetheart, don't you wish you'd learned to swim now?
`HAHAHA The implication of sincere stupidity is SO comical.

I just ADORED this piece.
--..MiNDYY

{And as mascara stains your cheeks...I smile.}
holy... that was amazing to start off the poem brilliant

i just have to say before i go in order of the poem this stanza... was... wow..

Look, I'm taking so much pleasure in your pain
Enjoying the fact you have no idea I'm causing it all
Whispering false words of comfort when you weep
Inside I'm reveling in the fact you're falling apart

Flawless poetry..

i love how you make it into a story... play by play creating pictures in my head i didnt like the fact that you always use sweet heart thats just me haha never really liked that sweetheart thing but other than that 2 me it was a beautiful poem.

I can see now that you have developed a style. A style as I have stated I am impressed with. It is mysterious how I stumbled on the themes that were already on my mind.
Your poetic abilities are indeed outstanding

This poem again is good, the use of metaphors are good. Somebody must of really ticked you off lol. Its like your sayin you shouldn't of hid away they should of been their selves. Good poem 5/5

This poem again is good, the use of metaphors are good. Somebody must of really ticked you off lol. Its like your sayin you shouldn't of hid away they should of been their selves. Good poem 5/5

I liked this poem because it was so full of emotion. Anger and disgust in tward that person was very prominent all the way through the poem. The flow was great. It can be very true as well. 5/5

{And as mascara stains your cheeks...I smile.}
With this line you should take a bow, your wit, scarcaism, humor, and brillant use of vocabulay made this peice absoultly outstanding. It has got to be one of the best poems that I have read in awhile. Excellently done, perfectly pinned, and so powerful, A wonderful read 5/5

This is another wow poem; You're a crazy good writter. I love this poem as well. Even though it's a bit crazy.
5/5

Really, where's the rhythm?
Where's the poetry?
It would be far better if you thought on how to rhyme it.

The words them self were expressed very well, and the theme was set out in stone.

Like always a wonderful write from a excellent poet. The flow was just alright for me, I felt it could of been a bit better (but that's just my opinion) Your overall choice of vocabulary was well sought out and had a nice impact on the write. Keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe

I loved this stanza:
Look, I'm taking so much pleasure in your pain
Enjoying the fact you have no idea I'm causing it all
Whispering false words of comfort when you weep
Inside I'm reveling in the fact you're falling apart

Very well written another insulting poem. I love your work.

I enjoyed the vindictiveness in this poem very powerful and staight to the heart. The flow was good but the poem as it pertains to the title well there really wasn't that big of a bridge oh well just a thought Plot121