Comments : What It Seems

  • 9 years ago

    by Shinobi

    This poems structure emphesizes it's meaning in a wonderful way. The feelings here are true and raw. Rhyming is a bit off, and choosing of words could be better. Overall 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Interesting piece. It is written with raw emotions, straight from the heart which is very effective. I don't read friendship/ family poems often but this one is really written in a good way.
    In this line:
    --As tender and sore as my heart was you let me cry.--
    I don't quite understand the construction "my heart was you let me cry" but I'm not sure what sounds wrong about that.
    My other suggestion is to change the word "Sucks" in the fifth line. Maybe it's just me, but it ruins the flow in that line a bit.
    All in all, you did truly great job.
    Keep up!

  • 9 years ago

    by Alexandra Jade Brewer

    Again, another beautiful write! There is so much emotion! My favorite line is definitely:
    My eyes cried a river that drowned all of my dreams.
    It was a great way to portray that! Perfect!